5 Foods You Probably Shouldn’t Eat To Your Visa Interview

November 20, 2020

So, you finally got that opportunity to japa from this country. You have scaled the village people hurdle, the evildoers of your family and your negative yard people. The final step is the visa. Here is how to make sure they don’t use food to hold you back.

1. Eba

Microwave Eba in 5 mins or less - My Diaspora Kitchen

It’s not a lie, dear. You will go there and sleep. Imagine jeopardising your future because of one bowl of eba. They will call your name and someone else will take your spot because you are far away in dreamland. We rebuke it for you.

2. Beans.

Yes, we love beans. But see ehn, don’t eat beans to your visa interview. A lot of things are bound to go wrong. For starters, you can start to purge. Or, shit might start to catch you while you are waiting in the queue. What is worse, you can be in front of the official and be dropping mess. The two of you will start looking at each other like:

Who mess?

Tolotolo mess.

Oyinbo say na me

Me I say na Oyinbo.

Original Spider-Man Pointing at Spider-Man Template restored in HD 4k -  (aka spiderman confusion meme) - [4096*3072] | Spider-Man Pointing at  Spider-Man in 2020 | Meme template, Spiderman meme, Blank memes

Save yourself from “Had thy known.”

3. Draw soup.

Okro oh, ewedu oh, ogbono oh. See ehn, these soups are sweet, but wahala be like bicycle. E no dey hard to start. You will eat okro soup and your mouth will start to draw until you yarn okpata.

Oyinbo: Do you have plans to come back?

You: If I come back, make I die, make I perish, anything I’m looking for let me not find it.

Oyinbo: I’m sorry?

You: No, I mean I will come back.

Leemao. Too late, dear.

4. Crayfish

Crayfish 3 mudu - Ahraha | Buy and Sell food.Grocery and Farm Produce Online

This one will give you bad breath. Don’t near it at all. Tuck in your Igbo roots and give your stomach to the Lord for one day, Chibueze. It won’t kill you.

5. Semo

7 Annoying Things About Making Semovita | Zikoko!

For simple reasons: semo will make you pee. But there are more spiritual reasons and we will tell you:

Semo is a widely hated swallow. It is beyond explanation, this hate, and it is irredeemable. Now imagine you eat such a thing. Honey, you have given your village people an avenue to work. They will simply transfer semo’s hate to you. You will just enter visa office and consular go comot cane wipe you for body.

Don’t even try it. Go to that visa interview hungry. And if you faint, toh. Na you know.


9 Nigerians Share Their Experience With Foreign Food


Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Kunle Ologunro

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 16, 2020

Nigerians are king of colloquials, but we need to normalise calling these foods their real names. Well, we rounded up 5 food products that are not being called their original names. You are guilty as charged. 1. Noodles Not Indomie Next time, say you want to buy Noodles, then let the seller ask for the […]

August 30, 2020

Tired of being emotionally manipulated and taken fi idiat? Well, as a resourceful publication, we have compiled the best food practices to help you toughen up. I know you want to thank us, but, don’t mention. Your hardness is our only concern. 1. Drink Palm Oil Like Your Life Depends On It. Let’s start with […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 26, 2020

With the way Nigeria is hot, you’d think Hell was full so they brought some of the fire here. Since people have been complaining of the heat, we decided to tell you seven ways you can stay cool. 1) Become a rainmaker You think it’s a joke, but once you become a rainmaker you can […]

November 26, 2020

You are wondering when God will finally answer your prayers and you will japa? Then take this quiz so we can tell you the exact year your travelling dreams will actualise. Please, give us your monies

Recommended Quizzes

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

More from Chopist

November 15, 2020

Food is great for nutrition and it’s also fun to eat. However, some foods are not for enjoyment but to test your management and budgeting skills. Any wrong step and you’re left with an incomplete meal and faced with the fact that your management skills suck. Here are some of them. 1. Yam and egg […]

November 12, 2020

When we do a head count of the vegetables in Yorubaland, the list of Yoruba vegetables that will be counted are obvious: soko, tete, gure (water leaf), efinrin (scent leaves), and ewuro (bitter leaf). But there are other Yoruba vegetables that should be included. Here’s a list: 1. Efo Amunututu This vegetable is said to […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X