If You Love Sugar More Than Anything, This Is For You

November 20, 2018
There’s nothing wrong with having a sweet tooth. But it’s very important for you to recognise when your own has gone from sweet tooth to sweet teeth. If you can relate with more than 5 things on this list, it might be time to seek help. Diabetes is real.

This is how you add more sugar to your garri after you’ve already put in ten cubes.

You’ll now taste it and add even more.

This is you once you’ve not had sugar for twenty four hours.

And you don’t think you have an addiction. You better seek help.

If you drink one bottle of water in a day that means you’ve had 5 bottles of coke.

Any small thing you’ll open coke. If they allow you, you can even use it to brush your teeth.

You always have something sweet on you no matter where you are.

If it’s not sweet, it’s chocolate, if it’s not chocolate it’s chewing gum.

You can eat cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then wake up the next day and eat it for breakfast again.

There’s sha egg and butter inside so it’s a balanced diet.

This is your face when someone asks you don’t you think you are having too much sugar.

Too much sugar? Is that even a thing? What does that mean?

You have to eat something sweet after every single meal.

Even if the meal was something sweet like custard, you’ll still eat chocolate after.

You never run out of sweet things to eat because you have them stashed in every corner of your house and office.

If you even look under your bed you’ll find something.

Ice-cream doesn’t count as comfort food to you because you eat it everyday.

When you are looking for comfort the best you can do is to eat two tubs instead of one.

When everyone is buying a bag of popcorn at the movies you have to buy two or three bags.

It’s not as if you have two heads, the popcorn they sell at the movies is just never enough.

When you hear someone say something like sugar spoils their appetite.

How is that even possible?

When you think of how much you spend on buying sweet things every month.

It’s sha worth it to you.

When someone tastes something you are eating then says that it’s too sweet.

They should just face their front, they obviously don’t like the finer things of life.
On a final note, brothers and sisters in the Lord, this isn’t all jokes. Drink more water, watch your sugar intake and stay healthy.
Toketemu Ohwovoriole

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 29, 2020

Nigerians who live in Lagos often confuse living in Lagos as the entire Nigerian experience. But there are many, many great cities in Nigeria, and Jos is one of them. We have been hearing so many great things about Jos, and we decided to curate some of them. 1. Peace of Mind If you are […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 25, 2020

If you’re a Nigerian woman living abroad, chances are that you’ve run into one or more of these types of Nigerian men. 1) Mr. qualifications Before you say anything, they’ll remind you about all their degrees – MBA, PHD, WAP, MD. 2) Green card gang In your first conversation, they want to know your status […]

November 25, 2020

2:49 a.m.  I wake up and I know instantly. I’m sick. Okay, maybe “sick” is a tad dramatic. I have phlegm and it won’t stop until I use some medication. It happens to me every year during harmattan and it’s usually very frustrating. Ugh, now I will be spitting all day. Iyama.  6:36 a.m.  All […]

November 25, 2020

Traditionally, marriage is designed to be a life-long commitment between two people. Sometimes, people go against the norm and seek emotional and sexual solace with people other than their spouses. I spoke to eight married men about cheating on their wives, why they do it and what the future of their marriages look like. Ben […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

More from Chopist

November 15, 2020

Food is great for nutrition and it’s also fun to eat. However, some foods are not for enjoyment but to test your management and budgeting skills. Any wrong step and you’re left with an incomplete meal and faced with the fact that your management skills suck. Here are some of them. 1. Yam and egg […]

November 12, 2020

When we do a head count of the vegetables in Yorubaland, the list of Yoruba vegetables that will be counted are obvious: soko, tete, gure (water leaf), efinrin (scent leaves), and ewuro (bitter leaf). But there are other Yoruba vegetables that should be included. Here’s a list: 1. Efo Amunututu This vegetable is said to […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X