To the dismay of my rapidly expanding waistline, I’m the biggest bread fan. I consume it almost daily, in all of its many glorious forms, from sliced to Agege. One of the most important things to ensure the optimal enjoyment of bread is carefully selecting the accompaniment to go with it. There are several options, and I’ve ranked them from worst to best.
Bread & sardine
My beef isn’t with the pairing but with sardine itself. Sardines seem like the type of food one should only consume as a necessity. Like if there is a gun to your head, or a zombie apocalypse had happened. Or you know, you are in a worldwide lockdown because of a global pandemic. But only then. Just so it’s clear my barely concealed distaste for this pairing extends to the travesty that is sardine bread.
Bread & corned beef
For me, corned beef belongs at the bottom of the same bin you’d find sardine in. There is no situation you find yourself in that makes eating bread and corned beef ok. That includes boarding school and NYSC camp. Corned beef stew isn’t a better alternative either.
Bread & tea
Say what you want about people who like to dunk chunks of bread in tea, but it can be oddly comforting in certain circumstances. Like on a very rainy day or when you’ve just gone through a breakup and your salty tears keep rolling into your tea, giving it an extra oomph.
Bread & fried egg
Bread and fried eggs aren’t the worst pairings, in fact, it’s standard. But it isn’t the best pairing either and life is too short for you to not indulge in the best. Plus, if you are going to consume all those carbs, you might as well make it worth it.
Bread & beans
When I say beans, I’m not talking about your regular sad pot of beans, I’m talking about the only form in which boiled beans should exist – Ewa Agoyin. If you live in Lagos and are trying to find the best Agoyin spot, I’ve got you. Quick enjoyment tip, make a hole in your bread, spoon in your Ewa Agoyin and top it up with some pieces of overripe plantain. You’ll thank me later.
Bread & akara
Bread and Akara you make yourself is alright. But for some reason, it just tastes better when you buy the Akara from a street hawker and collect it in an old newspaper that the oil from the Akara will soak through. Forget Bread and Akara, that’ s the best kind of Akara, period.
Bread & stew
Eating bread and fish stew for breakfast is one of my fondest boarding school memories. I always thought it was one of the more elite breakfast options. Imagine my surprise when I found out it bangs even more when the stew isn’t 80% water and there are actual fish chunks in it, not just a faint hint of fish.
Bread & Suya
Bread and Suya is an elite combination, and here’s the perfect way to enjoy it. First, the bread has to be Agege bread, sliced bread could do if you are in a pinch. The Suya has to be hot and fresh if you don’t know where to get that, try these spots. To wrap it up, put your Suya in and toast it in a pan until the edges are crisp.
Bread & egg sauce
When it comes down to it, nothing goes more perfectly with bread than eggs. But if you are shooting for true perfection, you can’t settle for just any style of eggs, it has to be spicy egg sauce. The type that will go perfectly with anything from yam to rice if you dare.