We Ranked Nigerian Rice Dishes From Worst To Best

April 24, 2020

Nigerians love their rice. If you watch the top ten YouTube tutorials of any Nigerian food blogger it will at least four rice dishes. Even though we are constantly finding new ways to reinvent rice, these rice dishes remain staples in most parts of Nigeria. I’m usually not one to pit a couple of bad bitches against each other, but I thought it’ll be fun to rank these dishes from the worst of them all to the best. 

Banga Rice

In the paragraph, before this, I talked about pitting bad bitches against each other. However, I think it’s important to note that even though Banga rice is on this list it’s most certainly not a bad bitch. In fact, it shouldn’t even exist. There are two things Banga is only ever allowed to go with – Starch and Eba. Absolutely nothing else, not even any other swallows. 

Coconut Rice 

My main problem with coconut rice stems from the fact that I don’t like coconuts. But even when you put that aside it’s a little hard to understand why anyone would voluntarily eat rice that tastes like it was chewed up and spat back out. There are some interesting variations to coconut rice like when you put carrots and peas in it, or cook it dry. But coconut rice at it’s core tastes like bad dreams and disappointment. 

Ofada Rice 

Here’s the thing about Ofada rice. It’s either you love it or you don’t there’s no in-between. People who love Ofada rice swear by it, no other rice dish compares. People who don’t, would rather eat sand before they touch it. As for, me I say give me the Ofada sauce and keep the rice. This might be a hot take, but Ofada sauce bangs more with plain old white rice. 

Concoction Rice

You might not understand why concoction rice, which is usually at the bottom of everyone’s list is so high up on mine. Until you try TFC’s Ajoke rice. They might have a fancy name for it, but it’s really just concoction rice. It has all the same properties as regular conception rice, ponmo, palm oil, fish. But Ajoke rice is inarguably top tier, it’s concoction rice with international exposure. 

Jollof Rice

Before I say what I have to say about Jollof rice, this is an appeal to anyone reading this not to stalk me down and beat me. After touring through thirteen West African countries (#humblebrag) and trying Jollof in each I’m here to tell you guys that Nigerian Jollof rice is just there. I love my smoky firewood party Jollof any day especially when you pair it with dry fried meat. But regular old Nigerian Jollof is unremarkable. Firewood Jollof is the only reason Jollof rice ranks below Concoction rice for me. 

Fried Rice 

I know you Jollof stans are about to fight me for ranking Fried Rice above Jollof but just wait, hear me out. The thing with Fried rice, is that a lot of people just don’t know how to make it right. It’s a delicate dish that needs the magical hands of a great cook. You can’t be buying Fried rice from the Iya Bas on your street. Who is literally just cooking rice with curry, putting two carrots and three peas on it, and calling it fried rice. Then say you hate fried rice, that’s not Fried rice.

I know people like to hate on Fried rice because it has all these supporting acts like carrots, sweet corn and all of that goodness, but that’s just why we love it. Those are the things that make fried rice, fried rice. 

White Rice & Stew

White Rice & Stew is like Beyonce. She is so talented and has made such a name for herself that even if you don’t really like her you can’t deny that she’s the best at what she does. There have been rice dishes before her and more will come after her but she’ll never go anywhere. 

You'll like this

Toketemu Ohwovoriole

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

October 19, 2020

1. Food If you don’t have groceries at home, I don’t know what to tell you. With everything going on, it might be a little difficult or even near impossible to order food from restaurants. But hey, na who dey alive dey order food. 2. Data We’ve all seen how social media has played a […]

October 19, 2020

I’m pretty sure nobody saw the #EndSARS protests coming. Since the 7th of October 2020, when Runtown and Falz announced a demonstration at the Lekki Toll Gate, the movement has spread like wildfire to every corner of Nigeria. Protests are springing up in almost every state and people are catching on to demand better for […]

October 19, 2020

Women have been said to be at the forefront of this protest. Although some people say women should not join the protest, they did anyway. We asked six Nigerian women why they joined the #EndSARS protests. Linda, 21 Every day I spend on the road, is for the women and the queers. Police brutality affects […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out:

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

More from Chopist

October 10, 2020

If I was unsure of the generosity of Nigerians, yesterday at the #EndSARS protests in Lagos proved me wrong. Except for the yoghurt I bought with my own money, I was well fed due to the sacrifice of many Nigerians who took it upon themselves to feed, fuel and energize the rest of us on […]

October 4, 2020

Jollof wars aside, there are a number of foods Nigerians need to appreciate Ghanaians for. Thanks to Ghanaians, we are enjoying these foods, or at least a slightly different version of them. Here’s a list of Ghanaian foods Nigerians enjoy eating. 1. Waakye This one is a fave for a lot of Nigerians. The stew […]

October 3, 2020

Benin City is one of the most historic towns in Nigeria. The city that plays host to the revered Eweka dynasty, Benin city has some fun spots if you ever realise that you need to unwind. Note down these 7 places, and never say we didn’t help you when you were stranded in Benin-city: 1. […]

September 27, 2020

The average Nigerian youth identifies more with Halloween than any Nigerian festival. Now, this breaks my heart because we have incredible festivals and celebrations in Nigeria that are arguably more than these ‘foreign things’. I lie? Check this Nigerian festivals out. They are proper: 1. Kagoro Afan Festival The Kagoro Afan festival is celebrated by […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X