Everything In Nigeria Will Kill You, Including FG’s New Self Certification Form

September 17, 2020

Citizen is a column that explains how the government’s policies fucks citizens and how we can unfuck ourselves.


This is the broken news:

Too tired and can’t read?

Your government says you have to physically go to banks to obtain, complete and submit a “Self Certification Form”. The form is to certify your identity, in line with the Income Tax Regulation of 2019. And even if you have an account in five banks, you have to go to all of them to fill this form, one by one.

The form is in three categories: Form for Entity, Form for Controlling Person and Form for Individual. If you fail to do this, you may be fined or even have your bank accounts suspended.

Dear FG, Are we a joke to you?

I wasn’t good at maths, but as at last count, we have had at least four valid means of identification in this country.

There is the National ID Card, Drivers’ Licence and the Voters’ Card. There is even the Bank Verification Number, which centralises all of the accounts a person has with an eleven-digit number. Why can’t the Federal Government harness all of this data, centralise it in a database and use it for whatever biometric plans it has?

What is this stick and stone approach in 2020?

Doyin Olagunju

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