It isn’t exactly clear when it started. But somewhere between all the off-colour, colourism jokes, Jollof rice comparisons and pronunciation riffs, Ghana dusted their slippers from Nigeria’s side of mediocrity and are currently winning at life.
As it stands, our neighbours from the west are staring prosperity in the face, and all we can do is tight Jollof rice to our chest. Cue clown music.
For some reason, Nigerians operate under the assumption that other African countries are the abysmal fuck-ups that we are.
We’ve probably been carrying shoulder for Ghana because of that time in 1983 where we had it so good, we kicked them out of Nigeria. Or may be because of that random story that Nigeria gives Ghana electricity (it’s actually just gas), we think they’re operating on our one-day on, one-day off light antics.
Well, jokes on us because, that Ghana we’ve been using small eyes to look at, they are not our mates. At all.
They don’t have to use almighty formula to know when NEPA will bring light.
For starters, while Ghana doesn’t have 100% uninterrupted power supply, it’s still such a strange phenomenon to its people, it has its own name – Dumsor.
Some parts of Ghana, however, enjoy 24-hour power supply, which is 20 more hours than most Nigerian parts can boast of.
To burst heads further, to make sure nobody is flying to turn the gen on in the middle of Arsenal’s loss, Ghana has an actual time-table that schedules when power-cuts would be made to shed the country’s power-load.
Nigeria, can you see your mate?
Their economy is going waaay up.
In 2018, The New York Times cited Ghana as having one of the fastest growing economies in the world. This is because, instead of accepting oil as their Lord and master (yes, they have oil too) like Nigeria currently does, they have a reasonably diversified economy.
They even have tourism on lockdown.
Now this one really hurt. While Nigeria’s 2018 Detty December involved going to pretty much the same concert 5 times, with the same performers and audience; Ghana took theirs several notches higher, giving the people the rocks they deserve, and promoting their tourism sector with a single event- The Full Circle Festival.
Everyone was there, and I mean everyone. American celebrities like Boris Kodjoe, Anthony Anderson, Jackie Aina, Cynthia Bailey, Mike Hill, Naomi Campbell, Edward Enninful, Idris Elba, even my baby-daddy who is yet to know my name- Diggy Simmons was present. He was so touched, he waxed lyrical on the finer points of Ghana in an Instagram post.
Man, even Wizkid and Burna Boy look happier in Ghana?
So, improving electricity production, stellar economy and now it looks like they’re ready to have their tourism industry take center stage.
But here we are, bragging about how our pronunciation of “pastor” doesn’t sound like macaroni.
Guess who’s getting a national airline? Hint: It’s Not Nigeria.
Back in 2018, Nigerians got very excited, then swiftly unexcited, when the news that we would be getting a national carrier was quickly shut down with the news of an indefinite halt on proceedings.
This is despite consultations having been made, and a dubious logo being promoted. All of this cost us ₦1.5 billion btw. No big.
Ghana, on the other hand, is on the way to having its own national carrier. It has done the workings and has seen the need to partner with Ethiopian Airlines, by signing a Memorandum of Understanding to assist in flying the country’s national carrier.
The airline is yet to kick off but tentatively plans to begin operations in 2019.
So which arline do you think will hit airspaces first?
Wrong answer if you picked Nigeria Air.
So there you have it. Ghana is currently living life on the prosperous edge, while we get to watch it live, decked in our shitty economy, volatile safety and no-airline having positions.
If nobody else is going to say it, I will — “Ghana please come back. Or at least show us the way.” Plis dear.