12 Things We Need The Lagos State Government To Help Us “Mysteriously” Discover

October 26, 2020

In light of this recent and brilliant discovery, we’ve tabled a list of things we need the government to help us quickly find. We await their favourable response.

1) Location of Bubu

Call us, daddy Bubs. We miss you.

2) Canadian bae with citizenship

Lagos state government, pls. It’s urgent. Pls, bae must be located in Ontario and not some remote province.

3) Judgement day

So that we can plan ourselves. Sin small and quickly repent before the big day.

4) Dollars

Especially the one you can pick on the floor without turning to yam.

5) Money I misplaced when I was 10 years old

It can change my current financial situation.

6) My lost long primary 5 bae

My dearest Tola.

Since we last saw my life hasn’t been the same. However, I find respite in the fact that one day we’ll be reunited at long last. On that day we shall meet in a place where there’s no darkness.

Till then, ko stay jiggy.

With love, your pencil and sharpener bae.

7) Job that pays ₦900,000 with just small insult

My body is ready, my excellency.

8) God fearing sugar mummy/daddy

LASG, I come to you as a child of God. I hope you look favorably upon my request.

9) How to do money ritual in a way that will please God

I can’t displease God because of money.

10) Where I can sell my kidney

Your excellency, I’m willing to give a commission on the successful sale of the said kidney.

11) How to Jaapa without IELTS

Nobody has time to write a letter to an uncle that’s not lost about the holiday you’re definitely not going to spend.

12) The Oba’s staff

“Do am if e easy” – Burna Boy.

Hassan Yahaya

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this


Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

More from Inside Life

November 29, 2020

While you were off sleeping when your mates were out painting the town red, contestants of reality TV show MTN Y’ello Star were turning up the volume at the craziest party. Sponsored by Music Time, the party featured celebrity DJ Kaywise and tons of fun. Here are our favourite moments from the party. 1. The […]

November 29, 2020

If your friend has these TV habits, they’re probably a cultist. This goes without saying, but you need to run for dear life. 1. When you start a show together, they leave you behind without waiting for you to catch up Deep down, they think you are too much baggage and about how they can […]

November 28, 2020

In Nigeria, a generator could be the difference between life and death. In a country where power supply is a matter of chance and luck, having a generator is non-negotiable. Even then, your generating set can choose to call it quits at any time, most often the worst possible times. Here are five instances your […]


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.