Nigerian mothers are chill when they want to be. However, they will likely go off on you, or at least try to during one of these times:
When you try to get creative with your hair but she thinks you’ve joined a cult
“This is how it starts and no child of mine will go to prison, so go and cut that abomination on your head.”
When you think you’re all grown and don’t need a curfew anymore
“If you know you have another mother, don’t be home by 6:30 PM”
When she believes the people you hang out with are nothing but bad news
“I’ve told you to stop moving with that boy. He is ruining your life and you don’t even know it”
When she asks you to do a chore and you say “later”
“Today is the day we find out if you’re the parent or I am”
When you go to school and don’t visit home every week
“You’re now so big now that you’ve forgotten us.”
When you come home and you don’t follow her to church anymore
“Oh God, my son wants to be an agent of the devil. Over my dead body.”
When she thinks you are of marriageable age and you haven’t brought a partner home
“Will you let me die without knowing my grandchildren?”
