Going to a strip in Abuja is quite the experience. From the smokey, dim-lit rooms to the overpriced drinks, Abuja strip clubs have it all. I recently visited three and I noticed a pattern. Here is an honest review of the type of strippers you’re bound to meet in an Abuja strip club.
Disclaimer: Some strip clubs have a no photos/videos/touching policy while others don’t. Please respect the rules regardless.
1. Blonde baldie
There is always that blonde, badass baldie that looks like Amber Rose. She usually has multiple piercings and enjoys smoking client’s cigars. Her heels are at least 2 inches longer than everyone else’s.
2. Aggressive “grab my tits” stripper
When you walk into an Abuja strip club, the girls come out to shake your hands. Their hands are usually sweaty and cool to touch. There is always that one aggressive stripper who would take your hands to her boobs after the handshake. She will tease you about being shy and then tell you how there’s more if you pay for a private dance.
3. The thick matron
There is always a woman who looks older than everyone else. You can tell she’s a veteran stripper because all the girls seem to go to her to whisper something. The regulars know her by name and she gives off mafia boss vibes.
4. The resident baby girl
Some Abuja strippers tend to look so young and naive. They have a very small frame and seem to still be getting a hang of things. Their performances are hurried and you can tell that they are younger than everyone else.
5. The performer
She has a very bubbly personality and loves eye contact. Her performances are very entertaining as she tries to get the audience to participate in one way or another.
6. The perfect woman
In every Abuja strip club, there seem to be one stripper that shines the brightest, literally. Her skin is soft, supple and moisturised. She also smells good and has a very charming smile. You cannot help but stare at her. The men with the table full of bottles always pay extra to have her dance for them.
7. The I-don’t-care stripper
There is always that one person who seriously cannot be bothered about anything going on. She comes, performs and leaves. There is nothing memorable about her except her attitude toward not giving a shit. She is most likely to get into a fight with a customer.
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