8 Things Every Nigerian Needs To Do To Prepare For Canada

January 17, 2021

If you’re serious about moving to Canada this year, you need to start getting ready. Moving to second Nigeria Canada is not for the unprepared, so here are eight things you need to start doing from today.

1. Stop eating Nigerian food

If you’re truly ready to go to your real country, you’ll stop eating semo, fufu and amala every day. Let’s be real: You won’t find amala on every corner you turn when you get to Canada. Start by eating poutine and casually licking maple syrup.

2. Stand in front of your AC every day

This oga has the right idea. If you to take it a step further, let a fan be blowing you and be chewing ice cubes. If you can survive two hours of this exercise, check your mail, your Canadian visa is ready.

3. Sometimes, try to stay inside the freezer

Houston Man Found Dead After Sleeping In Deep Freezer After His Air Broke

This one might be a bit extreme, but if you’ve heard the stories of Nigerians in Canada, and you’re serious about your japa plans, you’ll do it. You can never be too prepared.

4. Stop asking conductors for your change

If you know about Canada and Canadians, you’ll know that they’re the nicest people ever. You cannot carry your agbero attitude to Canada, my dear.

Stop fighting conductors for change. If they don’t want to give you, tell them “Oy, don’t worry, man” and walk away. If someone bashes your car in traffic, don’t get angry. Just move on.

5. Act shocked when you receive a hospital bill

Healthcare is free in Canada, so you must act shocked whenever you go to a hospital and they charge you. Call the manager and demand an explanation as to why you’re receiving a bill because where you’re from, all these things are free. Fake it till you make it.

6. Scream when NEPA takes light

Whenever NEPA takes light, act like you’re about to lose your mind. Keep screaming bloody murder like you don’t understand what is going on. Darkness? What is that? Please, someone should call the authorities and have this fixed ASAP.

7. Start wearing plenty coats

Change your dressing style to winter fashion. You need to get used to dressing with many layers of clothing. Nigerian sun is burning you? Don’t worry, it will all pay off in the end.

8. Add the maple emoji leaf to your bio

If at this point, the maple leaf is not in your bio, you’re not ready.


Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

David Odunlami

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

March 5, 2021

Most people think a strip club is a place for only men, but women go there to have fun too. These ten Nigerian women share their experience at the strip club. Deborah, 28 I am a bisexual woman who has never actually been sexual with another woman, but I am utterly in love with the […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

More from Inside Life

March 5, 2021

I have been putting out journo requests — open calls asking people who have experience or insight to share them for a story -— long before I started working at Zikoko. However, I have never seen a lack of response to a journo request as I did with the one I put out for this […]

March 4, 2021

Prior to what the internet and that certain website say, sex can be very awkward. If there is one thing that can ease the tension, it is music. As we are in the business of being generous, we have complied 7 foolproof methods to help you create the perfect sex playlist 1.  Ask your father […]

March 4, 2021

Cadbury Nigeria, a part of Mondelēz International, and producers of the iconic Bournvita, a cocoa beverage drink, has rewarded the top three winning schools in the second edition of the Bourn Factor School Talent Hunt Competition, which took place nationwide, in 2020. The winners were unveiled at a media parley held at the Company’s head […]

March 3, 2021

First, we thought, if Nigerian musicians had side hustles, what would they do? Now, we’re asking, “if Bible characters had side hustles, what would they do?” Here’s what we have: 1. Moses- Fitness trainer You can’t go far in the book of Exodus without seeing that Oga Moses has climbed mountain again. He first led […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X