If you grew up in Nigeria, chances are that you would have heard someone say: “Do you know what I am?” It’s the most common question thrown in the most random of conversations.

Here are perfect answers to this question:

1) Kainene?

I always knew you would come back home. I was sure.

2) Do you know who I am too?

Me, leader of the baddest gang.

3) Pencil in the hand of the creator?

This life is beautiful, but everything seems to be falling apart. The more you see, the more you feel sad. Oh, this life.

4) Looted Abacha’s funds?

We have been waiting for you. As usual.

5) Nigeria’s lost vision2020?

Welcome home.

6) A.P.C’s promises to Nigerians?

🙃

7) My sleep paralysis demon that chokes me at night?

Nice to finally meet you in daylight!

8) Sorry, I lost all my psychic abilities after my parents took me for deliverance so I can’t tell.

We are legion for we are many.

9) Careful Egungun that doesn’t want motor to jam it?

E don happen, we don tell am.

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