Ever since Prince Harry married Meghan Markle, wahala has jammed kasala because HoW DaRe A bRiTiSh RoYaL mArRy A lIgHt-SkInNeD bLaCk GiRl?

Of course, Nigerians have had a lot to say about the whole palaver. But we seem to be forgetting that we Nigerians have some family members who behave like the British Royal Family but have zero royalty attached to them.

 And here’s how:

1. They lie against your partner.

They just love to lie, if your partner raises their left hand they will say they raised their right hand. If it rains during the dry season they will accuse your partner of causing it, that its witchcraft from their father’s village. 

2.They go around sharing your gist and your partner’s gist like party packs.

Both the one you did oh and the one you did not do, they will share. The day you make a single mistake, all the Whatsapp groups will hear about it. First to do no dey pain, it is when you do your own back they start to cry and feel attacked. 

3. They fight against inter-tribal marriage.

In the year of our lord 2021, they are still fighting you because you married from so and so tribe.

4.They blame anything that goes on in your life on your partner.

It’s really laughable, any small thing that happens to you, they will say it’s your partner that caused it. ‘’If you married so and so, you won’t have all these problems’’. If they tell you such, smile. Now say to them, “You that married the person your parents approved of, why is your life still the way it is?” 

Gbas gbos. 

5.They view your partner as an outsider and not your immediate family

Maybe these ones don’t know common Social Studies abi Home Economics. They still think you are their immediate family after marriage, anyway, it’s not your fault that they don’t know book. 

6. They accuse your partner of trapping you and using jazz

The absence of love in their lives make the idea of love seem superficial and unattainable, coupled with the fact that they are entitled and sometimes dumb. If you shower your partner with love and affection they will say it is jazz. Instead of them to use that jazz to find love, they will be there, beefing you.

7.They ask for a male child first.

They aren’t the ones carrying the pregnancy, but they want you to give birth to a male first child. It’s not like they have any tangible thing to give your children, money they don’t have, a crown they don’t have. But they’ll be opening their mouth woahh.

8. They expect your partner to behave according to their dictates.

They don’t even have their house in order but they want to tell your partner to jump when they say jump, and dance when they say dance. If you tell them to jump now, they will be shouting because they are not fit. 

9.They want you to live with them.

They want you to live with them so they can do their amebo very well. If you are far away from them, they will be getting third-hand gist and they don’t want that. The closer you are to them, the easier it is for them to be wicked.

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