13 Things Only Nigerians Who Have Japa’d To Canada Can Relate To

November 5, 2020

For a lot of Nigerians, the ultimate Nigerian Dream is to japa. Many people prefer to go to Canada, AKA ‘Abroad Nigeria’ and live with the rest of the Nigerians that are there.

If you’ve successfully japa’d here are some of the things you can definitely relate to:

1. When you start your visa processing

“Oh Lord, I know I am a sinner. Please just this one time, have mercy on me. I will never sin again if you can just help me leave this country. I’m not proud o. I am begging you.”

2. And when you finally receive your visa approval letter

Nothing can ever top the joy that fills your heart when you finally receive the letter that releases you from the wicked clutches of your motherland.

3. When you’re finally about to leave

You’re crying and hugging your friends that you just told about your japa plans two weeks ago (You didn’t tell them earlier because the heart of man is desperately wicked and they could easily ruin your plans with black magic). Everyone is crying, but deep down, you cannot wait to get the hell out of… hell.

4. And you can finally change your location

As you wait for the airplane to take off, you remember that you have one more thing to do. You whip out your phone and you change your location on your Twitter bio to “Ontario, Canada”. Now it is official.

5. You get there and the weather slaps you hard

You’ve heard that the Canadian weather is cold but this was not what you expected. You can’t feel your fingers and your toes, but at least you know that you’re not the first Nigerian to ever move to Canada. We move.

6. But at least it’s better than the Nigerian sun

You remember the sun in Nigeria and you tell yourself you prefer the cold. Heaven is better than hell.

7. When you hear a price in dollars and start converting it to naira

“Wait, if this food is 25 CAD, how much will that be in naira? Are these people cheating me? There’s rice at home o.”

8. When you realize there’s no pepper in their food

Na so so ketchup and Poutine dem go dey chop. Even the foods that they call extra hot will be tasting like raw tomatoes. Where is the spice in this country?

9. And Nigerian food is scarce as fuck

“So you mean I can’t just step out of my house, walk down the street and find pounded yam? Which type of life is this, oh lord my father”

10. When you finally find the African food market

“Is that Panla? Goodness gracious, am I looking at plantain? Please tell me this is garri I’m touching with my bare hands? God, can I smell grounded pepper?”

11. But the prices want to break your neck

You’ll want to buy snails and when they call the prices for you, you’ll wonder if you asked for snails, or a Bugatti. It doesn’t help that the people who are selling Nigerian and African food over there are also really rude.

12. When you’re in the supermarket and you hear someone speaking in a Nigerian accent

“Oh my love, I am lonely. Let us meet over tea and talk about how cold the weather is, and then spend the rest of the time complaining about Nigeria.”

13. When people at home automatically assume you’ve become a millionaire

“Please send funds”

If you want to read stories about Nigerians who have successfully Japa’d, check out our Abroad Life stack. You’ll learn a thing or two.


Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

David Odunlami

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 9, 2019

While Nigeria toiled at the African Cup of Nations in Cairo, another team of footballers strove to do their country proud in the world’s football mecca.  AK Marvelous, the Nigerian team was minutes away from possible elimination.  Under Sao Paulo’s glowering sun and in just under 20 minutes they had played two games. Their first […]

October 29, 2019

Every grown Nigerian knows about ASUU and their hard-earned reputation. No judgments here; everybody must be known for something. At this point, ASUU or the news of any of their strikes shouldn’t really be news, but because these things affect hundreds of thousands of students, we can’t get that wish. So what is it this […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

January 18, 2021

What is it like loving women as a woman? Seven African women tell us about the experience. Hadiza, 20, Nigerian I expected it to be easier. I expected dating women to make me feel more safe and less insecure. The safety part is true, but the easy part is not. Women are challenging. Dating them […]

Recommended Quizzes

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

More from General

December 1, 2020

December 1st is World AIDS Day. It is a day to raise awareness about AIDS. We spoke to Doctor Opeyemi, to tell us some facts about the disease, common misconceptions and how to care for people living with AIDS. 1) AIDS AIDS (Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrome) is the late stage manifestation of the viral infection […]

November 13, 2020

The subject of today’s Abroad Life is a 25-year-old woman who lives and studies medicine in Dominica. She talks about how she got the admission, the fact that there are a lot of Nigerians there, and why she wants to leave once she’s done with her programme.  First things first, where are you right now? […]

November 5, 2020

For a lot of Nigerians, the ultimate Nigerian Dream is to japa. Many people prefer to go to Canada, AKA ‘Abroad Nigeria’ and live with the rest of the Nigerians that are there. If you’ve successfully japa’d here are some of the things you can definitely relate to: 1. When you start your visa processing […]

Buffet
October 28, 2020

For many Nigerians, their experiences at buffets rank highest as one of their most embarrassing moments.  Read: 5 Ways A Buffet Can Go Wrong In Nigeria From simple things like being overly shy because you now have to exercise your alimentary canal in front of everyone, to really serious buffet malfunctions like when a host […]

October 17, 2020

Although non-members of the LGBTQ+ community are harassed when profiled as “gay”, a lot of people believe that the QueerNigerianLivesMatter hashtag is unnecessary. Members of the LGBTQ+ community, like many Nigerians, are fighting for their right to exist. They are victims of police brutality. So, we spoke to some queer Nigerian protesters to tell us […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X