If Your June Salary Has Finished This One Is For You

July 2, 2018
If you are anything like us and you lack self-control and home training then your June salary has probably finished and you are currently going through these struggles with us.

They just paid salary last week but your account balance is confusing you.

Wait but did someone rob me?

This is you trying to calculate how you are going to feed for the month of July after looking at your account balance.

This is the perfect month to start 30 days dry fast.

You start thinking back to how you were flexing like there was no tomorrow during salary week.

Yours is now a case of had I known.

As you are trying to calculate how you’ll find money to pay your NEPA bill one family member calls you to remind you to send something for the month.

It’s a little too late for that.

You start to notice that any small thing suddenly makes you unnecessarily angry.

Your colleague will tell you good morning and you’ll ask them what’s good about the morning.

You start counting down again to salary week and wonder why the days are going by so slow.

Time moves slower when you are broke – Albert Einstein

Your taste in things will suddenly drop. You’ll start buying puff puff instead of pancakes.

You’ll start to realize that you actually like cooking and you don’t even like eating out like that. Who knew.

You’ll suddenly remember all the people that are owing you money and start hitting them up.

It’s time to collect your money back from that your colleague that needed 200 naira change for bus. Abi did he think it was dash?

You’ll start appreciating the little things like the fact there’s water dispenser in your office or your parents live an hour away so you can go and beg for food.

Isn’t the Lord good?

You also start to seriously rethink your priorities in life.

Do you really need to pay for internet this month? Shebi office WiFi is there?

Long story short, July is about to be a very difficult month but we are here to tell you that last last you won’t sha die before they pay your July salary. 

Stay strong.
Toketemu Ohwovoriole

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 26, 2020

With the way Nigeria is hot, you’d think Hell was full so they brought some of the fire here. Since people have been complaining of the heat, we decided to tell you seven ways you can stay cool. 1) Become a rainmaker You think it’s a joke, but once you become a rainmaker you can […]

November 26, 2020

You are wondering when God will finally answer your prayers and you will japa? Then take this quiz so we can tell you the exact year your travelling dreams will actualise. Please, give us your monies

Recommended Quizzes

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

More from General

November 13, 2020

The subject of today’s Abroad Life is a 25-year-old woman who lives and studies medicine in Dominica. She talks about how she got the admission, the fact that there are a lot of Nigerians there, and why she wants to leave once she’s done with her programme.  First things first, where are you right now? […]

November 5, 2020

For a lot of Nigerians, the ultimate Nigerian Dream is to japa. Many people prefer to go to Canada, AKA ‘Abroad Nigeria’ and live with the rest of the Nigerians that are there. If you’ve successfully japa’d here are some of the things you can definitely relate to: 1. When you start your visa processing […]

Buffet
October 28, 2020

For many Nigerians, their experiences at buffets rank highest as one of their most embarrassing moments.  Read: 5 Ways A Buffet Can Go Wrong In Nigeria From simple things like being overly shy because you now have to exercise your alimentary canal in front of everyone, to really serious buffet malfunctions like when a host […]

October 17, 2020

Although non-members of the LGBTQ+ community are harassed when profiled as “gay”, a lot of people believe that the QueerNigerianLivesMatter hashtag is unnecessary. Members of the LGBTQ+ community, like many Nigerians, are fighting for their right to exist. They are victims of police brutality. So, we spoke to some queer Nigerian protesters to tell us […]

September 2, 2020

Just tired of staying in the same place? Want to explore? We compile 5 of the best things we have heard about Calabar. 1. Richness in Culture Calabar culture is one of the richest cultures in Nigeria, varying from food, to dances to festivals and carnivals. You should give the city a visit. 2. The […]

August 31, 2020

I had a conversation with a 24-year-old who suspects that her husband cheated on her with his cousin while they were still dating. She talks about the age difference between them, the disrespect she had to endure while dating him and the choice she had to make. There are so many decisions I have made […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X