The Struggles Of Being Romantic In Lagos

July 19, 2016

So that’s how one Lagos boy just finished watching a nollywood romance movie and started feeling inspired

It’s time to move to the next level.

So he does more “research” and plots and plans like a real Lagos boy

It’s a serious matter!

He first takes one babe for a picnic in the park

Eat. Love. Nature…. “romantic sometings”.

But then all the insects in Lagos decide to join them

Na wa for Lagos nature oh.

On to the next babe… because he has many.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

He decides to take the next babe on a long drive

Love in the time of potholes.

But then they enter one deadly traffic

Mo daran!

Then he decides to up his game and write her a “not so anonymous” anonymous letter

Shakespeare abeg shift, the real writers are here!

Only for her to complain that one idiot wrote her an anonymous letter talking rubbish

Can you imagine? After all his hard work oh.

Then he battles another traffic just to play romantic music outside her window

This one must click.

Only to get to her gate and hear “ah madam said I should say she is not around oh”

You say what?

Then finally he tries to do a real romance and kiss in the rain

Come on baby!

Only for her to start shouting that he ruined her hair and now she has cattarh

Aunty you will not kill someone sha!

So he decides to give up and goes back to his normal level of late night call, credit and shawarma

Son of man cannot come and go and die. Not everything is for everybody abeg!

Moral of the story; not everytime copy-cata, sometimes face your front

Leave romance for nollywood, biko.

You'll like this

Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

October 20, 2020

Earlier today, the Lagos government declared a 24-hour-curfew starting 4pm. However protesters and people who couldn’t go home on such short notice remained at the Lekki toll-gate. News have however reached us that peaceful protesters and people at the toll-gate are being shot at. Here’s what’s happening: To watch it live, click here. For more […]

October 20, 2020

If the president is not moving fast with police reforms, we can submit a petition to the National Assembly. 24-hour Curfew Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu has imposed a 24-hour curfew on all parts of Lagos State as from 4 pm, 20th October 2020. He also added that only essential service providers and first responders “must be […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

More from General

October 17, 2020

Although non-members of the LGBTQ+ community are harassed when profiled as “gay”, a lot of people believe that the QueerNigerianLivesMatter hashtag is unnecessary. Members of the LGBTQ+ community, like many Nigerians, are fighting for their right to exist. They are victims of police brutality. So, we spoke to some queer Nigerian protesters to tell us […]

September 2, 2020

Just tired of staying in the same place? Want to explore? We compile 5 of the best things we have heard about Calabar. 1. Richness in Culture Calabar culture is one of the richest cultures in Nigeria, varying from food, to dances to festivals and carnivals. You should give the city a visit. 2. The […]

August 31, 2020

I had a conversation with a 24-year-old who suspects that her husband cheated on her with his cousin while they were still dating. She talks about the age difference between them, the disrespect she had to endure while dating him and the choice she had to make. There are so many decisions I have made […]

August 31, 2020

1. Time To Go And Meet Your Favorite Lecturer You, yes you. You have had peace of mind for the last 6 months. But in the next three weeks you will try to submit your assignment after the deadline and someone will shout “Will you get out of my office?!” Why? Because the Governor of […]

August 28, 2020

At some point, Nigeria will have to declare a national emergency on the crime of defilement. For starters, I actually thought “defilement” was just another sensational term used on newspaper headlines, but it actually is a criminal offence. Section 137 of the Lagos Criminal Law (2015), for instance, prescribes an imprisonment for life for anyone […]

August 27, 2020

The general reaction when we think or talk about cockroaches is disgust. However, meeting a flying roach in person is a whole different ball game. Ladies, this is what a man’s reaction to a flying cockroach says about him in bed. Don’t try to understand the inference, I am about to drop some nuggets so […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X