Hey, Tall People Are Tired Of Hearing These Things

October 26, 2020

Someone said short people ask too many questions. Tall people would agree. Here’s a list of things tall people are tired of hearing about their height.

1. Do you play basketball?

No.

2. You should play basketball.

No.

3. Why are you tall?

Why are you asking stupid questions?

4. How tall are you?

Tall people have to answer this question 68 times everyday.

5. Are your parents tall?

What will this information do for you? Please tell me.

6. You are tall.

Gee, thanks, I wouldn’t have noticed if you didn’t point it out.

7. How’s the weather up there?

If you don’t geddifuck outta here…

8. Help me bring this thing from the tall shelf

WHY DID YOU PUT IT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?

9. You’re so long

Are you talking about my height or…

10. Longitude

Why the fuck do people think randomly looking at someone tall and saying “Longitude” is an appropriate thing to do?

11. Are you a model?

Yes. Every tall person is a model.

12. Marry a short woman

No. I will marry a tall woman and and produce tall offspring so that we can rid the earth of your kind, oh dwarf.

13. My friend is taller than you

Fuck, now I have to kill myself.

14. Watch your head, no let fan cut you

This one is actually useful. What is it doing on this list?

15. I bet you have women kissing your feet

Is that a fetish or…

16. What’s your shoe size

If I tell you this and you don’t buy me shoes…

David Odunlami

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

November 24, 2020

Period sex is sex that happens while either of the parties involved are on their period. We asked Nigerians to share their period sex experience, here are eleven of them. Anna, 18 This was my first and only period sex experience, but I find it a funny one because it happened on my heaviest day. […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

More from Inside Life

December 4, 2020

If your friends are bugging you to join them for outings this month, we have the perfect harmattan excuses to help you stay indoors. You’re welcome. 1. “The sun is too hot” This one isn’t even an excuse. It’s a fact. The sun these days can make somebody run mad. Just stay inside your house. […]

December 3, 2020

Don’t let their cuteness deceive you; kids are crackheads. They’ll do the weirdest shit and then when you catch them, they’ll start acting like they’ve been framed. If you want to save yourself a lot of cleaning and embarrassment, keep these seven things away from your kids. 1. Powder Children see powder and immediately think […]

December 3, 2020

Yes, you have a crush, but are you your crush’s crush? These are the questions. To catch your crush’s attention, you have to be different and think outside the box, because many people are doing the same thing you’re doing. Here are 5 easy ways to enrapture your crush. 1. Be rich You thought it […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X