If you don’t already have kids, chances are you will soon. Here’s a guide to help you figure out if your child has finally joined that ‘bad gang’ your Nigerian parents always spoke of.
1. When they refuse to eat rice for the 70th time in a row.
They are not hungry because they have gone to eat with their gang.
2. When your son refuses to barb gorimapa and shave his beard.
He doesn’t want to look smart because he has joined cult.
3. When your daughter’s weave has started passing her shoulder.
She has finally joined runs girl gang.
4. When you see them resting on holiday instead of reading their book.
When did holiday become for resting?
5. When they start popping collar and wearing spaghetti strap.
Ah! That is their gang uniform. It’s all over.
6. When their curfew is 7pm and they are just strolling in by 7:01pm.
Their cultist meeting must have ended late. Only explanation.
7. When they want to go and live on their own even though they are only in their early thirties.
They want to go and be fornicating up and down.
8. When you make a mistake and they have the liver to correct you.
It’s the gang that has taught them to think they know more than you.
9. When you wake them up by 5am to pray and they are frowning face.
Why are they frowning? They don’t like Jesus again.
10. When you see them drinking anything with more than 0% alcohol.
They have started drinking hot drink. Next thing they will be carrying cutlass.
11. When they start befriending the opposite sex instead of facing their book.
They will now bring home grandchild you did not ask for.
12. When you ask them a question and they answer you or worse, they don’t answer at all.
Their cult is doing silent meeting.
13. When they say they don’t want to go to church because of small sickness.
Small sickness? Child of Belial.
