So you are the envy of all your friends because of how slim and compact you are; you can literally pass through anywhere, even closely packed vehicles. But what’s most annoying to you is how people think you have no right to complain about the woes of being thin–even though they don’t own your body and can’t comprehend what it is like to be you!
You will relate to these 12 things if you’re so tired of people telling you about how being skinny is the best thing after dodo and jollof;
1) When people say you don’t need to exercise:
Because they assume that being skinny is all you need to be healthy.
2) Clothes from 10 years ago still fit:
Having no need to buy new clothes, because the new clothes you bought three months ago still look brand new and you still have the outfit that’s in your cute 9 year old picture. Oh, and shopping for clothes is just the worst because nothing fits.
3) Not being able to add weight no matter what you eat:
You’re just cursed with a high metabolism and an ability to burn fat so quickly that nothing stays in, so even if you eat a truckload of burgers and a horse you can never add weight. But, your friends don’t understand how bad you want that extra inch because they are all saying that you are LUCKY.
4) Getting bullied in buses:
You’re there minding your business jeje and then one woman with a wide waist, huge load and 7 children comes to sit beside you in the bus and proceeds to yell at you to “shift”. To where madam? The air?
5) When people assume you don’t weigh much and can be carried easily because of that:
Ha! They forget that you have more bones than skin, ignore your warnings that you’re heavy and then proceed to fall on their heads when they try to carry you.
6)Always feeling cold–because skin and bones:
Sticks and stones can break you but the cold is deadlier than they are because it never leaves you–even in the hot afternoon.
7) The dead jokes:
People trying their hand at comedy with dry jokes that are so overrated; be careful o so breeze doesn’t carry you away; hope you’re not sick, this one you’re looking like this?; tini beku, and so and so forth.
8) Deader compliments…
When people think you’ve never heard them before and can’t stop saying it when they see you; lepa shandy, slim shady, modella, and any other uncreative things they can think of.
9) Endless weight gain advice:
Don’t make the mistake of telling someone you are trying to add some weight because the floodgates of unsolicited advice will open, they’d tell you things like; “Mix milk, egg and Maltina and drink up in one gulp”, “Eat fried food”, “Wake up at night to eat, eat junk food”, “Don’t worry you will get fat when you get married or have a baby.”
10) Always needing to use belts or hidden elastic bands in your clothes:
…because you get thinner and thinner and every clothing item you own is your enemy.
11) When you have to make excuses for being naturally skinny:
Oh no I’m not skinny, I’m just thin; I eat and eat but it goes nowhere.
12) Sitting on uncushioned chairs hurts:
Feeling like all the bones in your body has shattered because your butt doesn’t have enough flesh to protect you from harmful benches with sharp edges.