1. When that your unemployed uncle is trying to lecture you about school.
Well, this is awkward.
2. When you’re about to travel and your mum says “I had a dream…”
Hay God!
3. When you hear your father’s horn at the gate and the whole house is scattered.
It’s all over.
4. When you open the icecream container in the freezer and see egusi soup.
What is this life?
5. When you’re playing outside without slippers and you see your father’s car approaching,
Chineke!
6. When that aunty that hasn’t seen you since you were born asks “do you remember me?”
Adongerrit.
7. When visitors come and your mum starts bringing out food and drinks you didn’t know were in the house.
Oh? So we don’t deserve good food too, abi?
8. When you open the container of Danish cookies and see needle and thread.
Is it fair?
9. When your father tells you to come and play with that cousin you don’t like.
Oh God!
10. When your mother that warned you not to eat anything at her friends house starts saying “eat na”.
What will I now believe?
11. When you say you can’t find something and you hear “if I come there and find it…”
What is all this?
12. When your mother calls you by your full government name.
I’m in trouble
13. When all your friends are going out but you’ve already gone out this month.
The pain is real.
14. When your mother tells you to clean your room because visitors are coming.
Hian! Will they come and enter my room?
15. When your parents finish beating you then start asking “why are you crying?”
Are you joking?
16. When your watch your mother price a shoe from N15,000 down to N1,500.
Mama the mama.
17. When you ask your father if you can go out and he says “go and ask your mother.”
Na wa for una.
