20 Tweets That Are Too Real For Nigerians Who Love Jollof Rice

March 11, 2016


Since Nigerian Jollof is the only Jollof Rice that really counts and if you love Nigerian Jollof rice, this post is dedicated to you.

If not, I don’t know, go to another post.

Do you love fried rice? Yes? Please tell me more about how you don’t know what true happiness feels like.

1. It is true happiness.

2. Missing out on Jollof rice is devastating.

3. Eating it literally gives you butterflies in your stomach.

4. Jollof rice is a confirmed aphrodisiac.

5. It is better than Meek Mill. Even fried rice is.

6. Jollof rice goes better with multiple pieces of meat. Facts only.

7. It unites warring tribes. Honest!

8. Jollof rice makes for great promotional material.

9. It cannot share a plate with anything but meat.

10. It’s better than Ghanaian Jollof Rice. Stop the arguments.

11. Comparing a person to Nigerian Jollof is a high ranking compliment.

12. It’s powerful enough to ruin marriages.

13. It can raise the dead. I swear I’m not making it up.

14. Astronomy supports the legend of Nigerian Jollof.

15. Its only mates are Dodo and puff puff.

16. Even microwaves respect it.

17. It wipes your sins away.

18. Nigerian jollof rice is the best motivation.

19. Never put stew on it.

20. The Obamas are coming to Nigeria just because of the Jollof rice. Nothing else, obviously.

*starts rant* Obama went to Ethiopia. Ethiopia!! They couldn’t even spell his name well there. But he went there and snobbed Nigeria. Even though we are the supposed giants of Africa.

And we have the better Jollof rice. *stops rant*

What other traits of Jollof rice are real to you?

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