5 Things That Happen When You First Join Nigerian Twitter

April 22, 2020

Twitter is like that fun party every millenial got an invite to and one that every millenial actually wants in on. But breaking into this party is not always so easy. And did I mention that Nigerian Twitter is an extreme sport? Because it really is, complete with penalties and fatal injuries. If you’re just joining Nigerian Twitter then you will most likely experience the things on this list.

1. It will be soliloquy for a long time.

Your first tweets will basically be you just talking to yourself. No likes, no comments, no retweets. Just you, yourself and your tweets chilling on your timeline like losers no one wants to hang out with.

2. Then you post your first hot picture and you realize that people actually see your tweets.

Zikoko-Nigerian twitter

But they are just not interested in reading and engaging with you your smart logic, big English and 50 followers. They only want to see fine pishure.

3. You witness your first drag fest.

Zikoko-Nigerian twitter

And then for the first time you have a front row seat at a twitter drag fest complete with savage punchlines, and damning screenshots. You watch as they literally skin the subject alive and even proceed to grind the bones.

4. You collect your first savage clap back. 

Zikoko-Nigerian twitter

And you are like why are you people so angry and rude? Who hurt you? For some people this marks the end of their tweeting careers, for others it gives them the ginger they need.

5. Then you hit your first popular tweet.

Zikoko-Nigerian twitter

The tweet that finally garners beautiful likes, sweet retweets and lovely comments. And you go back to that tweet every 5 minutes to tell yourself- Yassss, I have arrived. Until another savage clap back jams you.

You'll like this

Blessing Onyelobi

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

September 27, 2020

The Federal Government will meet with leaders of the Nigerian Labour Congress (NLC) and the Trade Union Congress (TUC) by 7 pm this evening (Sunday 27 September 2020) over their planned mass strike on the increase in petrol and electricity prices. NLC and TUC have said that there is “no going back” on their strike […]

September 27, 2020

The average Nigerian youth identifies more with Halloween than any Nigerian festival. Now, this breaks my heart because we have incredible festivals and celebrations in Nigeria that are arguably more than these ‘foreign things’. I lie? Check this Nigerian festivals out. They are proper: 1. Kagoro Afan Festival The Kagoro Afan festival is celebrated by […]

September 27, 2020

In a few hours, the BBNaija Season 5: Lockdown Edition will come to an end. But it is impossible to put people together in the same house for 71 days without housemates showing their irrational food habits. In this list, I curate 5 of the most insane food obsessions from the BBNaija 2020 house: 1. […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

More from Oldies

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

February 8, 2020

In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]

February 8, 2020

Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]

February 8, 2020

Growing up, Saturdays used to be fun thanks to Cadbury Nigeria and Silverbird television. However, these days, as an adult, Saturdays are filled with unfinished work from the week before. If you are lucky, maybe a nice outing or mild to moderate fornication. Still, all these don’t fill the void the way cartoons used to […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X