The African Guide To Seizing The Bae

September 20, 2016

1. First of all, you must have a backup girlfriend or boyfriend.

2. You can’t tell your babe you don’t have money; don’t you know how to steal or do yahoo yahoo?

3. You can’t be waiting for the right person: grab the wrong one like hot cake!

4. If your girlfriend is mad at you, we advise you NOT TO BREATHE! She will kill you!

5. Tell him you’re allergic to food whenever he takes you out.

6. Never ask your babe to pay the bills: you can sweep the restaurant or wash plates.

7. You can’t use earphones if you’re single, how will you hear people toasting you?

8. Don’t even try buying your girl flowers, who flowers epp?

9. Even if the hair is rubbish, just says it’s fine.

10. If you’re single, stand outside your house where people can see and toast you.

11. Don’t text your crush first, you’ll look desperate.

12. ‘Broke’ cannot exist in your dictionary, you have to be rich by force.

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