Are You Suffering From Over-Nigerianness?

January 27, 2017

1. Does your heart go jiggy jiggy when you see jollof rice?

And we mean Nigerian Jollof rice oh, the one true J.rice!

2. Is this your reaction when you hear oyibo children talking back to their parents? :

You’ll just be imagining the back-hand that will follow if you try such.

3. Do you always add one month to the time your tailor tells you your clothes will be ready?

Nigerianness 70% if this is you.

4. Is this how your arms look after pulling gen everyday?

Lol, you’ll just be doing unnecessary workout that nobody sent you to do.

5. Is thirty minute traffic small stuvz for you?

A true Nigerian doesn’t start to vex for traffic until it starts entering that one hour side, any other things is child’s play.

6. When you see 2 ATMs and people are only queuing at one machine, do you go to that one or try your luck at the other empty one?

Nigerianness 85%! Who Nigerian wants to be using their card for experiment?

7. When you see a cat walking at night, do you stop to pet it or carry face, run and start reciting rosary?

Nigerianness 100% if you start binding and casting as soon as you see a cat!

8. Is this your mother’s face whenever you try to hand her something with your left hand?

You know this, Naijaness on check!

9. Did Nigeria dash you one or two years to your Uni life because of strikes?

This one tired me oh!

10. Whenever you start having too much light, do you start getting suspicious?

No, no, this level of enjoyment is too much. You’ll now start begging NEPA to take their light back.
Boyin Plumptre

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