The BVN registration deadline has passed. As usual, Nigerians have ended up with tales of woe from all angles “It’s not our fault, it’s the situation in the country.”
Let’s tell you how you got to this position…
1. You first heard about BVN…
Everyday, everyday, register for something.
2. When you knew you were broke and wondered what the point of BVN was.
Please what other transaction can I do from here? What kind of life is this please?
3. When that teller asked you “Have you done your BVN?”
But if you mind your business, will you die?
4. Then you went to the bank to beat the first deadline…
As per LastMinute dotcom. Wait, is the whole of Nigeria here? I can’t deal abeg.
5. Before they postponed it.
Of course they did… as per Naija!
6. So you went back to ignoring your bank.
*Marked as spam*
7. Until the guy who owed you money came to pay you back.
Praise Da Living Jesus!
8. And you had to rush to do your BVN.
I’m next on the queue please! My friend, answer me now!
9. But somehow, your account still got deactivated.
Chei! I have no luck.
But don’t worry, you’ll enter another queue, sort yourself out and be alright.
You have to get somewhere on time. It’s important. But you didn’t start getting ready on time, so now you’re rushing to do everything. You get ready just in time and you look at the mirror and smile, “I knew I’d make it.” And you don’t feel bad for wasting time earlier anymore. Now it’s […]
If you ever want to see a Nigerian lose their home training, then go to any of these seven places. 1) NIN registration centre One thing that does not mix well is Nigerians and deadlines. It is a catastrophic, and destined for disaster. Somebody’s father probably came home complaining about how one ‘small boy’ insulted […]
According to the World Health Organisation, one in four Nigerians has a mental illness. The same health body also estimates that one in four people globally will have a mental illness at some point in their lives. Nigeria has about 300 psychiatrists catering to its teeming 200 million-strong population. With statistics such as these, many […]
With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]
Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]
While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:
Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]
In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:
This #NairaLife is the story of a medical student stuck in a loop that is the Nigerian education system. One day, he got some information that changed his life forever, and he went from being a dependent to a provider. This is how it all happened. Let’s start with the first time you worked for […]
The subject of this NairaLife is a medical sales rep who works at a job where everything can go wrong and derail the trajectory of her life. But you see how to make money and build wealth? She kinda has it on lock. What was your first memory of money? When I was eight years […]
First, an important announcement: In case you missed it: Fu’ad wrote and published his last Naira Life story last week. My name is Toheeb, and I’ll be taking over from him. Also, I had an interesting conversation with him where he talked about the origin of Naira Life and his experiences writing the first 100 […]
What’s your oldest memory of money? I was 5, and my mum gave me money to buy a crate of eggs – ₦1 coin. My own introduction to money was with coins, and this was in 1990. There was the 50 kobo coin. My boxed-up uncle used to give me whenever he visited. What could […]
On February 4, 2019, the first Naira Life went up. What had driven the creation of the series was simple — get Nigerians to open up about how they move the naira in and out of their lives, and the complexities that come with money or the lack of it. Since the first story went […]
When you rewind to the very very beginning, what’s your oldest memory of money? It’s definitely collecting Salah money at my grandparents’ house. Some people would willingly give me, and I’d tax some others. Do you remember the first thing you ever did for money? Does washing snails for my aunty count? Anyway, I started […]
What’s your oldest memory of money? I was seven, and there was a housewarming party at my father’s new house. An uncle gave me ₦50 as per for being a good boy. Later that evening, an aunt asked me to lend her the money for her transport home. She’s never returned my money since then, […]
My favourite first question is – Hmmm..First memory of money? Haha. Exactly. It was in secondary school. My allowance for the week was ₦250 per day or something. So I got maybe ₦1k a week. I spent it on meat pie. I was not one of those “I am saving my money.” Tuck shop! Haha! […]
This is #NairaLife, episode 96. What’s your oldest memory of money? I’d say not having a lot of it. My dad had money, but it did not seem that way. I felt we were poor. I remember back in secondary school, I had to wear worn-out shoes and bags, my uniforms were not anything to […]
What’s the first thing you ever did for money? I was writing my guy’s notes in secondary school. I didn’t even have complete notes for myself. Haha. What were your going rates? About ₦250 for the day’s notes, which was about six or so hours of classes. Why did you do it? I wanted more […]
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
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