51 Reasons Why Nigerian Men Get Married

March 23, 2016

Well, besides love of course, these are 51 reasons Nigerian men are likely to get married:


1. They are hungry.

2. The buka close to their house has packed up.

3. Their mother has refused to cook in bulk for them again.


4. They are horny.

5. They are saving themselves for marriage.

6. Their girlfriend is saving herself for marriage.


7. Their mother won’t stop calling them at 11pm and crying.

8. Their father want’s to finally pop open that bottle of scotch he has been saving since they were 4.

9. Their parents are getting old.

10. Their girlfriend’s parents are getting old.

11. She is the most eligible person from their home town their father will let them marry.

12, Their girlfriend’s parents are loaded and the baby boy life isn’t paying the bills.


13. Their girlfriend won’t shut up about it.

14. Their pastor won’t shut up about it.

15. Their girlfriend’s pastor won’t shut up about it.

16. Their girlfriend’s mother’s pastor won’t shut up about it.


17. Their girlfriend is pregnant.

18. Their girlfriend lied that she is pregnant.

19. Their girlfriend is pregnant but they don’t know it isn’t theirs.

20. Their girlfriend won’t agree to a third abortion.


21. They want to officially become sugar daddies.

22. University girls prefer married men.

23. Appearing in Bella Naija Weddings will expose them to women that like married men.

24. Their house is too big.

Untitled design

25. They are tired of doing the laundry themselves.

26. The dishes in the sink are piling up.

27. Grown men need wives before they can hire maids and not feel weird about it.


28. Their younger brother needs him to marry first before he can marry.

29. Their girlfriend’s sister needs her to marry first before she can marry.


30. They don’t want people to think they’re gay.

31. They don’t want people to know they’re gay.


32. They want to go abroad for Masters and nobody wants to hear story.

33. Their girlfriend want to go abroad for Masters and nobody wants to hear story.


34. They are bored.

35. They are tired of whoring around.

36. Their friends are getting married.

37. They want to get it out of the way.

38. They are “supposed to.”

39. They are responsible.

40. They want to wear agbada without looking ridiculous.

41. They bought too much Ankara the last time and now they need someone to wear and co with.

42. They want their exes to sleep with them “one last time.”

43. They want wedding gifts.


44. Their boss doesn’t like single people.

45. They want their boss to stop making them work overtime.

46. They want a promotion.

47. They want to run for government office.


48. They don’t want to live in sin.

49. They’re tired of living in sin.

50. Their girlfriend is tired of living in sin.

51. Even though neither they or their girlfriend has a problem with it, everyone is harassing them about living in sin.

You know I’m right, now please remember to share with your friends and followers.



Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this


Now on Zikoko

November 26, 2020

With the way Nigeria is hot, you’d think Hell was full so they brought some of the fire here. Since people have been complaining of the heat, we decided to tell you seven ways you can stay cool. 1) Become a rainmaker You think it’s a joke, but once you become a rainmaker you can […]

November 26, 2020

You are wondering when God will finally answer your prayers and you will japa? Then take this quiz so we can tell you the exact year your travelling dreams will actualise. Please, give us your monies

Recommended Quizzes

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians […]

More from Oldies

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

February 8, 2020

In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]

February 8, 2020

Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]

February 8, 2020

Growing up, Saturdays used to be fun thanks to Cadbury Nigeria and Silverbird television. However, these days, as an adult, Saturdays are filled with unfinished work from the week before. If you are lucky, maybe a nice outing or mild to moderate fornication. Still, all these don’t fill the void the way cartoons used to […]


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.