1. When you tell your mother you’re sick and she says “you’re strong in Jesus’ name.”
Amen! But I’m still vomiting sha.
2. How your parents see themselves when you fall sick:
You people are now doctors, abi?
3. When your mother feels your forehead to check your temperature.
Hian! Is it only malaria?
4. The real doctors in every Nigerian home:
Nigerian parents not-so-secret weapon.
5. “I have a cold.” “I was shot in my leg.” “I was hit by a trailer.”
Robb is the answer when you don’t even know the question.
6. The last stop before your parents actually take you to a hospital
Can’t even imagine using it to cook. It is anointing oil now and forever.
7. The sick Nigerian’s unofficial diet:
THE BEST.
8. When you think sickness will stop you from going to school.
When it’s not that you’re dead.
9. When your parents still wake you up to go and wash pot.
Hay God!
10. Your mother, when you fall sick on a Sunday.
Holy Spirit will heal you.
11. When you vomit in front of your parents.
That’s the only explanation.
12. When your parents suddenly start acting nice to you.
Oh? I should fall sick more often.
13. Your mother, if your sickness lasts longer than 4 days:
Better get up.
