Struggles You’ll Understand If Your Beard Has Just Refused To Connect

August 18, 2016

1. When hair decides to grow everywhere else on your body except your chin.

Is it fair?

2. When you go to the salon and your barber shaves off the 3 strands you’ve been managing.

See this bastard.

3. You, rubbing methylated spirit and indian hemp on your chin like:

Baba God, do it for your son.

4. Your face, whenever you see a Gillette ad on TV.

Stop the torture.

5. When you see an Igbo babe that has more hair on her chin than you.

I’m jealous.

6. How you look at men that actually have and decide to shave it off:

God will judge you.

7. What your chin looks like if you decide to go months without shaving:

See my life.

8. You, remembering all the lies your Biology teacher told you about puberty.

Where is the facial hair you promised?

9. When the only hair growing on your face is just a useless moustache.

Who sent you?

10. When your hair finally decides to start growing on your chin but it now refuses to join your sideburns.

What is now the point, biko?
Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

November 26, 2015

1. When it’s Saturday and your mum starts listing all the chores you have to do. This woman has begun. 2. When your parents join twitter (or snapchat)…and they follow you. All church everyday. 3. When your mum gets home and you haven’t taken out the chicken from the freezer. Leave me alone to die. […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

October 29, 2020

If you speak fluent Nigerian, you’ll understand that not everything a Nigerian says means exactly what you’ve heard. We’ve broken down some of the most popular Nigerian phrases and what they actually mean. 1. What they say: With all due respect… What they actually mean: I am about to absolutely destroy you with the next […]

ICC Nigerian Military
October 29, 2020

Can the ICC prosecute the Nigerian military? Many Nigerians are still in grief over the Lekki Massacre which took place on October 20, 2020, when protesters were shot at for exercising their constitutional right to peacefully protest. In the wake of this, several stories — and fake news — have infiltrated the media over what […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes That’ll Separate The Ajepakos […]

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

More from Oldies

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

February 8, 2020

In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]

February 8, 2020

Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]

February 8, 2020

Growing up, Saturdays used to be fun thanks to Cadbury Nigeria and Silverbird television. However, these days, as an adult, Saturdays are filled with unfinished work from the week before. If you are lucky, maybe a nice outing or mild to moderate fornication. Still, all these don’t fill the void the way cartoons used to […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X