What You Should Expect From Nigeria’s 2030 Space Mission

March 31, 2016
If you’ve not heard the gist, the minister of Science and Technology recently vowed to land Nigeria’s first astronaut in space before 2030. For those here for the banter like us, check out this accurate timeline of the Space Mission 2030.

December 1, 2029 NTA: Nigeria will be joining the league of countries to send a man to the Mars.

January 4, 2030 NTA: Engineer Chuka Shehu Femi will be Nigeria’s first man on the Mars. More details about him to follow

January 4, 2030 10:00 TheCable: NUPENG, PENGASSAN to go on strike over planned Mars mission. More to follow

January 4, 2030 10:30 Punch: Breaking: Religious Groups protest over Atheist Engineer on Mars mission. “How will he pray to get there”

January 7,2030 12:30 PremiumTimes: Minority Groups kick against marginalisation in Space Mission

January 8, 2030 NTA: Senate go on 3 weeks recess, will begin Space Mission probe upon resumption

January 9, 2030 SaharaReporters: Save Nigeria Group seeks Court order to suspend all Space Missions

January 15, 2030 SaharaReporters: Breaking- Engineer Chuka laments “My life is in danger”

January 21, 2030 10:00 PremiumTimes: Federal High Court in Kutuwenji grants injunction suspending Space Mission to Mars

January 24, 2030 NTA: Breaking – Presidency approves inclusion of 6 astronauts, claims Federal Character

February 1, 2030 The Economist: Space Travel, Is Nigeria serious?

February 3, 2030 ThisDay: NSA Boss, Spaceship too small for 6 people, can only take 3.

February 6, 2030 ThisDay Style: The astronaut and their beautiful wives, Love in Space and Beyond.

February 6, 2030 Made: The Spacesuits, everything you need to know from designer, Mai Atafo

February 7, 2030 LindaIkeji: Outrage on Twitter as feminists lament non inclusion of women on Space Mission

February 7, 2030 09:30 SaharaReporters: Breaking: Wife of Nigeria Space Agency boss embroiled in Multi Billion Naira designer bag scandal

February 9, 2030 BudgtIT: The real cost of Nigeria’s Mission to Mars. Infographics, click here

February 10, 2030 SaharaReporters: How Nigeria Space Agency bought secondhand spaceship from China costing over $150Billion

February 11, 2030 ThisDay: Nigeria’s Opposition party labels Mission to Mars a colossal waste. “People are hungry, Mars is not Priority”

February 11, 2030 18:00 PremiumTimes: “They had 10 years to go to Mars but didn’t, they are wailing” Layi Momodu, Presidential Spokesman

March 1, 2030 Guardian: Celebrations across Nigeria as Spaceship is launched. “We have arrived”

March 2, 2030 NSA Digest: Fuel on Nigeria Spaceship cannot get to Mars. Moon likely destination

March 4, 2030 CNN: 300 days Nigeria Mars trip cut to 3 days Moon trip due to fuel issue.

March 5, 2030 PremiumTimes: “300 days trip in Space, President never said it was to Mars” Presidency

March 7, 2030 Punch: Space team to spend 300 days on the Moon to help Presidency save face.

March 8, 2030 SaharaReporters: How NSA Boss diverted Space fuel funds to overseas account.

March 12, 2030 SaharaReporters: Houseboy of neighbour to husband of NSA wife’s best friend’s younger sister picked up by EFCC.

March 15, 2030 PremiumTimes: Presidency rejects association with I fly with the President group.

June 20, 2030 ThisDay: 300 day Mission reduced to 100 days as Fasting season approaches.

June 20, 2030 10:00 SaharaReporters: Embattled NSA chief “Religious reasons for shortened trip are baseless. We found what we are looking for”

June 20, 2030 10:30 Punch: National Opposition Party jests “The thing they found on the Moon, does it have a name?”

June 22, 2030 PremiumTimes: President okays return of Spaceship in live video chat with crew on Paris trip.

July 30, 2030 BusinessDay: Nigeria Spaceship company, Arik Spaceshuttle Ltd, to commence commercial flights to Space

December 4, 2031 SaharaReporters: Nigerians stranded on Mars as Arik delays return trip by 3 months.

Co-written  by Zikoko Contributor @NEPA_Lagos.
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