Being born into a Nigerian (in fact, any African) home is different from being born in another home. Just look at how every stage of your life is peculiar.
1. When you are glad you can finally walk and stand on your own.
But they are really happy you can now start doing the dishes.
2. When you hear “Go and wear your slippers so we can go out”.
What a betrayal.
3. When you are hungry and get offered food in public.
And your mum answers “Thanks we just ate before we left home”.
4. When your mum catches you collecting sweets from strangers.
Can the floor just swallow me now?
5. Getting all A’s and one B and you hear “Your mates that had all A’s”.
Why so unappreciative?
6. Getting your clothes two sizes bigger with “You will grow into it”.
Oh great! Just what I needed!
7. When you ask your parents for money, but they are always broke.
Yes I can see that!
8. When its finally the holidays and you get “Are you reading ahead?”
And you reply with “We are on holidays”.
9. And you hear “That is why you never get all A’s”.
Somebody cannot even play with you small.
10. The dreaded 4 hour speech when you are leaving for university.
Oh Jesus can you come back right now.
11. When you tell your parents you want to quit school to make music.
Are you being manipulated?
12. When you hear “When will you start working” two days after graduation.
Is that how it is done sir?
13. And then you start getting the “When will you marry?”
Please I’m still a baby boy.
Of course, when it’s your own turn, you make sure your children go through the same thing. How else will they be alright?!
