1. When you try to go out in an outfit your mother thinks is too short or too tight, she’s like:

“You might as well be naked! My friend will you go and change that rubbish!”

2. When you’re uninterested in cooking and she’s wondering why.

“Is this how you will be doing in your husband’s house?”

3. When she doesn’t like your boyfriend and you are still dating him.

Everyday she will use her advice and wise words to be torturing you in the house.

4. When your hairstyle or make up is too loud or crazy for her.

“Why do you like to do yourself jagga jagga like this?”

5. When you go to school and you only call her three times a week instead of twice a day, she’s like:

Hello ma, how many talk do you want us to talk?

6. When she doesn’t like your friends and you still hang out with them.

She’s usually right about them at the end of the day sha but still!

7. When you decide to stop following her to her own church/mosque.

Madam God is everywhere please let me go where I want!

8. When you stop telling her gist because you know she’ll use it against you later.

How can we be fighting because I’m not talking enough!

9. When your female cousins/friends come to visit and your mother starts comparing the both of you.

Be satisfied with what you have ma!

10. When you come home “late” which is any time after 7:30pm.

“You are now a nightcrawler abi?”
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