9 Nigerians Share The Pettiest Reasons They’ve Ended Sex

October 7, 2020

From sudden discomfort to general fatigue, there are many reasons people stop sex halfway through. So, I asked a bunch of Nigerians to share some of their pettiest excuses.

Here are nine of the best answers we got.

Ruth, 31/Female/Bisexual

I was cheating on my boyfriend at the time, and the person I was sleeping with kept asking, “Is he as good as me?” I didn’t need that kind of guilt in the middle of sex, so I told him to get off me and never touched him again.

James, 25/ Male/Gay

I was having sex with this “straight” guy, and it was going pretty well until he called my ass a “pussy”. I wanted to ignore it, but he kept loudly repeating it. I immediately lost interest. I told him to go and look for a woman since it’s pussy he wants to fuck.

Mary, 27/Female/Straight

I ended the sex because the dude was too quiet. Like, how can we be fucking and you can’t even let out a slight moan? Which hard guy are you forming? I just took that to mean he wasn’t feeling it and called it a night.

Femi, 28/Male/Straight

I don’t know if this is petty enough, but she stank. Every stroke was like impaling a rotten fish. It was like a chemical-weapon-grade ooze. So, I faked an orgasm, pretended to take a phone call and ran out of there.

Esther, 25/Female/Straight

This guy was definitely a Rottweiler because he was licking me and wetting my whole body with spit. I paused and asked him what he was doing, but he seemed genuinely clueless. I just laughed, hopped off the bed and went to shower. I was so irritated. 

Tomiwa, 27/Male/Straight

A woman once stopped having sex with me because of the song I was playing. It was Ty Dolla $ign’s “Horses In The Stable”. She said it made her feel like a whore and showed that I didn’t like her.

“You’re just another girl and this is just another night” is a line from the song. I can see why she got upset, but it was facts. It was funny how she said she needed to pee, and the next second, she was fully dressed and ready to bounce. 

Ibukun, 31/Female/Straight

He kept asking if he could take off the condom because he wasn’t “feeling anything”. He asked the first time, and I said no. He asked a second time, and I said, “No and please don’t ask me again.” 

Of course, this goat asked the third time. While he was still inside me, I reached for my phone and ordered an Uber. I don’t even think I was petty. The bitch nigga was willing to expose me to disease and potential pregnancy for a fractionally better orgasm.

Ebuka, 31/Male/Gay

We didn’t even get to the sex part before I called it off. I tried to kiss him, and he aggressively dodged my lips. His reason? He doesn’t kiss men, only women. I was very confused, but I didn’t even question it. I just told him to be going. 

Bimbo, 24/Female/Straight

I was sleeping with this guy who’s always been insecure about our lack of exclusivity. That’s how, right in the middle of the most intense sex we’ve ever had, he said, “I wish this pussy was all mine.” I’ve never gotten so dry so fast.

11 Quizzes That Will Help You With Your Sex Life

Let us fix your sex life. Take these quizzes.

NerdEfiko

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

September 26, 2020

The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a lesbian in her early 20s who, after many trysts with boys, discovered her sexuality when she got to university. . After one traumatic sexual experience though, she’s now terrified of sleeping with women.

September 23, 2020

Bisexual stereotypes like all stereotypes are annoying and sometimes very harmful. Since September 23rd is Celebrate Bisexual Day, we talk to 8 Nigerian bisexuals about the bisexual stereotypes and how the “playful” comments people make are quite biphobic. Basically, one of the best ways to celebrate a bisexual apart from sending them food or money, […]

May 30, 2020

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 31-year-old heterosexual woman who’s been cheating on her husband for the past year. She talks about their total lack of sexual chemistry and why she feels no guilt. What was your first sexual experience? Does masturbation count? It should, right? Yeah, it does.  Ok. I think I […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 30, 2020

Yesterday, many parts of Nigeria experienced a complete blackout. Someone that knows someone that knows someone said it was the national grid that collapsed for the 482819th time. We don’t know why this happens all the time. It just does. So we made a list of things you should do while you’re waiting for them […]

November 29, 2020

The idea of a blind date sounds exciting, but nobody really knows what they’re getting themselves into. It can go rather well or horribly wrong. Let’s tell you a short story. One you probably know too well. 1. You are on your lane when your friends decide to set you up on a date You […]

Nigerian Army testifies SARS panel
November 29, 2020

The Nigerian Army has shared their testimony twice at the Lagos State Judicial Panel of Inquiry and Restitution For Victims of SARS Related Abuses. At Zikoko Citizen, we have been following the “Lagos SARS panel” ever since the panel was inaugurated, and we have also been present at the panel hearing on the two occasions […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

More from Sex Life

November 24, 2020

Period sex is sex that happens while either of the parties involved are on their period. We asked Nigerians to share their period sex experience, here are eleven of them. Anna, 18 This was my first and only period sex experience, but I find it a funny one because it happened on my heaviest day. […]

November 21, 2020

The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 30-year-ole heterosexual woman who entered a celibacy pact with her partner before marriage. She didn’t keep her end of the pact and often cheated on him. Now that she’s married and finally having sex, she feels sorry that she cheated.

November 16, 2020

December is fast approaching, and so is orgy season. I mean what better time to engage in sin and debauchery than the month of the birth of Jesus Christ? To save yourself from embarrassment, we compiled a list of things you really should not be doing. 1) Fake an STD test result We understand that […]

November 13, 2020

I spent some time googling sex positions on the internet (do not ask), so I decided to rename some and share them with you. No need to thank me, you are welcome. 1) Upside down Ojuelegba spinner You will need yourself and two more people for this. Honestly, we think if you draw a circle […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X