We Know Every Self-Development Hack You’ve Failed At In 2020

March 5, 2020

I am something, 2020 was supposed to be my year, but it’s March and I still haven’t entered the gym or become vegan like I promised. What am I?

While you’re thinking up the answer we made up a list of all the self-development hacks you swore would make 2020 your best year yet. Too bad you’re sucking at them:

Reading the Chinese, American and English versions of Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Outliers and Thinking Fast and Slow.

Forgetting every principle in the books after one week

Writing a to-do list every morning to keep track of your plans for the day.

Failing to complete more than half every day, forgetting to cross off the things you do accomplish.

Announcing to your friends, families and enemies on social media that you’ll go to the gym 5 days a week, every week in 2020.

Blocking everybody that might insult you after spending the 54th consecutive night at home in your lazy pyjamas. Gym clothes where?

“If I touch alcohol this year call me bastard.”

Okay then.

Keeping a journal to take track of all your day to day progress.

Completely forgetting to fill out the journal.

Telling yourself you’ll finish a book every week of the year.

Actually struggling to get through the first chapter of the first book and it’s March.

Swearing off sugar and carbs in 2020.

Is that not big Bigi and Hungry Man size Indomie we can see on your table?

“I wont watch as much TV this year, I promise”

Uhun. Who just downloaded Prison Break Season 1 – 92 to watch?

Did you promise to always finish work before closing time, so you could spend more time on other goals or did we imagine it?

The pile of work you take home at the end of every day growing like.

Okay, this is a safe space. What one have you failed at already?

Boyin Plumptre

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