Why Do Nigerians Think Men Who Do These 6 Things Are Gay?

August 10, 2020

You know how Nigerians are generally homophobic; any small thing and they’ll recoil and say “Ah yew a gay?” 

First of all there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Second of all, there are some perfectly normal things homosexual and heterosexual men should be able to do without being labelled.

If you do some of the things listed below, they either say you’re acting like a woman or that you’re “a gay.”

.

1. Skincare

Men aren’t even allowed to have the most basic form of skincare apart from rubbing cream. If you own ordinary facial cleanser, people will pile on you to ask whether you’re a woman. To Nigerians, the end of skincare for men should be Irish Spring and Vaseline. 

If you use sunscreen, scrubs and toner, that’s the end. Nigerians will probably call the police on you. Abeg, take care of your skin before you come out looking like harmattan victim.

2. Pedicure/Manicure

What to do about nail fungus – The Sun Nigeria

Walking into a Nigerian salon for pedicure and manicure is like walking into the market naked. The women will look at you like you grew horns on your chest. Grooming your nails has nothing to do with your sexuality. That’s why your feet look like you were escorting the Israelites during their journey through the desert. Get a mani/pedi TODAY.

3. Wearing body jewellery

If you’ve managed to do the above things without being labelled as gay, Nigerians won’t let you escape this one. Wear an anklet and you are guaranteed to receive funny looks all day. In fact, anything more than wristwatch, chain and a ring is guaranteed to make you the center of attention. For Nigerians, multiple pieces of jewellery mean you’re “doing like woman”. If you wear waistbeads, forget it.

4. Using lip balm

You might wonder why so many people walk around with lips cracked like the dry Savannah plains of East Africa. Let me tell you why. It’s because Nigerians think men using lip balm is akin to them using lipstick and is, therefore, GAY. That’s why. 

Please, please and please, endeavour to use lip balm. Your partner is too shy to tell you but I will tell you on their behalf. Take care of your lips.

5. Snappy fashion sense

Denola Grey biography ▷ Legit.ng

Nigerians love a fashion-savvy man. Just make sure you’re not *too* fashion-savvy. If you are, you’ll soon start to hear whispers of “Maybe he is a gay.” Shoutout to the gay fashion icons. Nigerians, people can dress well and not be gay.

6. When they tell their bros “I love you”

When you finish fighting for the above, this is the final boss level you must fight. If you tell your Nigerian male friend you love them, they begin to avoid you like a plague. The toxic masculinity is so strong, fathers don’t even say it their sons.

Don’t tight the world to your chest. Relax small and tell your friends you love them. You will not die.

You should probably read Are Nigerians Now More Accepting Of LGBT Rights? Idk sha.

You'll like this

August 21, 2019

I became a Big Brother Naija fan in 2017, avidly following the show and live tweeting my hot takes on all the drama. It was even more interesting to me because a lover and I were watching it as a sort of shared activity, something we could always discuss and watch “together” even when we […]

Olufemi Fadahunsi

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

September 27, 2020

The Federal Government will meet with leaders of the Nigerian Labour Congress (NLC) and the Trade Union Congress (TUC) by 7 pm this evening (Sunday 27 September 2020) over their planned mass strike on the increase in petrol and electricity prices. NLC and TUC have said that there is “no going back” on their strike […]

September 27, 2020

The average Nigerian youth identifies more with Halloween than any Nigerian festival. Now, this breaks my heart because we have incredible festivals and celebrations in Nigeria that are arguably more than these ‘foreign things’. I lie? Check this Nigerian festivals out. They are proper: 1. Kagoro Afan Festival The Kagoro Afan festival is celebrated by […]

September 27, 2020

In a few hours, the BBNaija Season 5: Lockdown Edition will come to an end. But it is impossible to put people together in the same house for 71 days without housemates showing their irrational food habits. In this list, I curate 5 of the most insane food obsessions from the BBNaija 2020 house: 1. […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding:

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes That’ll Separate The Ajepakos […]

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

More from Inside Life

September 27, 2020

The Federal Government will meet with leaders of the Nigerian Labour Congress (NLC) and the Trade Union Congress (TUC) by 7 pm this evening (Sunday 27 September 2020) over their planned mass strike on the increase in petrol and electricity prices. NLC and TUC have said that there is “no going back” on their strike […]

September 26, 2020

The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a lesbian in her early 20s who, after many trysts with boys, discovered her sexuality when she got to university. . After one traumatic sexual experience though, she’s now terrified of sleeping with women.

September 25, 2020

On Thursday, President Muhammadu Buhari signed into law the new Police Establishment Act 2020, aimed at making the Nigerian police force better. But the new law has generated sharp criticism, especially on social media. Many critics say that the law has now granted wide and unending powers to police officers. Reasonable Grounds, Reasonable Apprehension The […]

September 24, 2020

An explosion has occurred in the Ajuwon, Iju-Ishaga area of Lagos today. The explosion happened around 3:30 pm on Thursday 24th September 2020, with many people stating that they do not know the cause of the explosion. Video footages of the explosion have been circulating on social media: An eyewitness told BBC Pidgin that a […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X