5 Nigerian Men Talk About Being In A Relationship

October 26, 2020

Recently, I read an article — I don’t remember the title — about the reasons people go into relationships. The author argued that for most people, it’s a result of a well-thought-out process. I thought I should put that theory to the test, so I spoke to 5 Nigerian men about their relationships. The conversations revolved mainly around the “hows” and the “whys”. Did I get the clarity I was looking for? Well, in some ways. But I found their answers very interesting, and I think you will too. 

1. Kanyinsola

I knew I wanted to be in a relationship before I met my current partner. At the time, I was serving in Ogun State and hadn’t been in a serious relationship in a year. I was pretty damn lonely and suspected that the quality of my life would be better if I had a companion. I travelled to Lagos to attend a festival and met her there. Actually, we saw each other once at the festival, but we exchanged numbers.

After texting for three weeks, I asked her out, although we had not met a second time. She said yes, but apparently, she still had doubts. It was when we met a second time and had sex that she decided “Yeah, I am ready to commit.” It’s understandable. No one wants a serious commitment full of bad sex. Imagine already agreeing to date before finding out if you’re sexually compatible. That could have gone wrong in so many ways.

2. Ayo

In my first year at Uni, I was the resident bad boy because I had a lot of female friends. I went to my faculty end of year dinner with one of them, and one of the guys in class gave me hell all night. He labelled her a new catch I was about to use and dump. Apparently, he thought I was sleeping with all my female friends. I told him he was wrong, but he called bullshit. Sha, before the night ended, he made a bet with me. If the girl and I were still together after two weeks, I would win. I took up the challenge and continued seeing her. Before the two weeks ended, I had completely forgotten about the stupid bet. It turned out that I was genuinely interested in her. We started dating officially, and we’ve been taking on the world together; since 2013.

Does my girlfriend know this story? Not yet. I might share it with her on a special day.

3. Jude

The idea of being in a relationship has always appealed to me. I had plans to get married in 2020 as far back as 2013. The way I saw it, there was a deadline I needed to beat. From that time, every girl I dated was a potential wife. Unfortunately, the two most promising ones didn’t work out. I met someone else in 2018, and everything changed. We got married earlier this year. 

4. Ola

My first relationship happened because I was bored and wanted to catch a cruise. I wasn’t interested in her, but she was so into me. So I thought, “Hell, go for it.” Of course, it didn’t end well for either of us — but she took most of the hit. I practically ghosted her too. I did a bit of growing up after that and realised how fucked-up that was. I’m in a different relationship now, and I’d like to think that there is mutual respect and we are only in it because we saw something in each other. This is my chance at a do-over, and I’m trying hard not to ruin it. Sometimes, I fear that she might do to me what I did to my ex. It’s a gnawing feeling I try to ignore, but it’s there. 

5. Dami

I don’t think I’ve dated someone who was my spec, and I’ve been in three relationships. If I wanted to paint a picture of my girlfriend, she would be tall and slim. She would definitely have an ass too. My girlfriend — like the others — wasn’t built that way. I like to think that my search for an emotional connection trumped everything else. I know that I vibed with her a lot and saw myself tolerating her for a long time. That was all the reason I needed. Well, she broke things off with me a little over a week ago, but we move.

Man Like – A series about men, for men, by men. Every Sunday by 12PM.

Toheeb Lanlehin

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

September 8, 2020

Internet scammers, popularly known as yahoo boys, are a long-battled menace to society. As if this isn’t enough, our police double our woes by profiling every other young Nigerian male as yahoo boys.  If you’re a Nigerian man in Nigeria, chances are you’ve been accosted by men of our beloved Nigerian Police Force. The funds-starved […]

November 18, 2020

If you’re here wondering the secret to the appeal of Nigerian men, welcome: 1) Sweet mouth Nigerian men open a conversation with “you look familiar” and end with “I can’t live without you.” When Nigerian men give their sweetness attack, you defend. Or reset your defense. 2) Dress sense Ice on their neck. Ice on […]


Now on Zikoko

December 4, 2020

Lawal Adijat Opeyemi of the New Nigeria People’s Party (NNPP) will be contesting in the Lagos East Senatorial by-elections which is scheduled to hold this Saturday, December 5, 2020. The by-election became a necessity after the death of Senator Bayo Osinowo earlier this year, who represented Lagos East Senatorial district, following a brief illness. A […]

December 4, 2020

If your friends are bugging you to join them for outings this month, we have the perfect harmattan excuses to help you stay indoors. You’re welcome. 1. “The sun is too hot” This one isn’t even an excuse. It’s a fact. The sun these days can make somebody run mad. Just stay inside your house. […]

Recommended Quizzes

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

More from Man Dem

November 25, 2020

If you’re a Nigerian woman living abroad, chances are that you’ve run into one or more of these types of Nigerian men. 1) Mr. qualifications Before you say anything, they’ll remind you about all their degrees – MBA, PHD, WAP, MD. 2) Green card gang In your first conversation, they want to know your status […]

November 25, 2020

Traditionally, marriage is designed to be a life-long commitment between two people. Sometimes, people go against the norm and seek emotional and sexual solace with people other than their spouses. I spoke to seven married men about cheating on their wives, why they do it and what the future of their marriages look like. Ben […]

November 18, 2020

If you’re here wondering the secret to the appeal of Nigerian men, welcome: 1) Sweet mouth Nigerian men open a conversation with “you look familiar” and end with “I can’t live without you.” When Nigerian men give their sweetness attack, you defend. Or reset your defense. 2) Dress sense Ice on their neck. Ice on […]

November 13, 2020

Nigerian women aren’t the most communicative people, some times. When they catch feelings for Nigerian men, they won’t exactly in straightforward terms. They prefer playing a complex game of “Read My Mind” to tell you that they’ve caught feelings for you. Here a couple of signs that show you a woman is in love with […]

November 11, 2020

What does IJGB mean? – “I Just Got Back.” This means someone who’s living abroad and is back in Nigeria for December rocks. Now that you know the definition of IJGB, let’s begin. December is upon us and God willing, the innits will soon be upon us. We’ve prepared this guide as a safety measure […]

November 9, 2020

It’s never too early to start thinking of Christmas gifts for your man. This year, make efforts to get, you know, actual gifts for your man (not boxers and singlets). Nigerian men deserve better, therefore, we’ve made a list of all the things you can get your man for Christmas this year. 1. A PS5 […]


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.