8 Nigerian Men Share Their Experiences Cheating On Their Barbers

October 6, 2020

The bond between a man and his barber is a sacred one. It is not to be trifled with lightly. Every man with a good head of hair knows this. Occasionally, some men, for whatever reason choose to break this consecrated relationship. More often than not, it ends in tears for them. I spoke with seven such men who cheated on their barbers. May it be a lesson to others who are considering doing the same.

Leke, 27

Omo, the first time I cheated on my barber was during the lockdown. My barber didn’t open and my hair was really full. One idiot in my neighbourhood told me to come, saying he’d just give me a trim. That’s how this guy gave me lowcut oh. I wanted to run mad.

The second time, I had just relaxed my hair, which is really curly. I went to another guy. Omo I couldn’t cry when the guy finished. And he still collected 1k from me. Something I shouldn’t have paid 200 naira for. Since then, I’ve remained faithful to my barber who I’ve been using since 2009.

Olanrewaju, 26

I’ve been using my regular barber for over five years. My beard started itching one fateful Saturday, and my barber wasn’t around. So I took a bike to the next hood. I gave this guy specific instructions: “Bro, gimme a clean skin shave but maintain my beard line.” This nigga chopped my beard line on the left side of my face almost halfway in. His excuse? He said he thought I wanted to trim it slim. Why the hell would I want to do that? Am I Tory Lanez or Davido?

At that point, I just told him to shave everything. I left his shop looking like a boy who just wrote Common Entrance. My barber saw me that evening. He laughed for the next three weeks. I had to wear a face cap everywhere I went, even on native. I was ashamed. Now, even if I travel, I prefer to carry my bushy head around till I see my barber. I’ve learned my lesson. If I cheat on my barber, I get no babes for the next three weeks.

David, 21

I started cheating on my barber late last year because I moved. I’m not gonna lie, I was getting nice trims from the new guy. The lockdown happened and I didn’t cut my hair for several months. I noticed that my hairline was creeping forward instead of backwards as it happens when men get older. It was later that I realised that my new barber had shifted my hairline back by inches and I hadn’t noticed.

OJ, 24

I definitely have cheated on my barber. Firstly, it’s not a barber per se. It’s a salon. Everyone there is really qualified so you’re sure to get a good cut. After I’d been using the salon for eight years, the owner of the salon packed up and left to a new location across town, things began to change. The remaining barbers began to look for exclusive customers. You could literally see the heartbreak in their eyes when you choose one over the other. I don’t mind women fighting over me, but these grown men?

Next, they began to stylishly increase their charge. The official charge is written on the wall, but since you are now a customer to one of them, you get “special treatment” which demands special charges. The politics and extortion became too much so I left to a new one very close to my house, an obviously young barber who was new to the business. It ended in tears. My employer knew I had changed barbers. I went back to my original shop until I left the town.

Hack, 23

My elder brother has been my barber since I was 10. One time, he travelled. I couldn’t wait for him to get back, so I strolled somewhere to cut my hair. I just noticed that the guy kept shaping and shaping my head. He’d shape a little more, step back and shake his head. It was at this point I knew I was in trouble.

He kept shaping until my hairline slipped back completely. I had to use shaving stick when my friends in school would not stop dragging me. It was better to barb skodo, abeg.

Akintomiwa, 18

I had been using my barber for two years. One day, I went to his shop and he didn’t have electricity. His gen was also faulty; it was a Sunday and he couldn’t get anyone to repair it. He asked if I could wait and I told him I couldn’t and I would go to another salon close to his shop. At the salon, I told the guy I wanted a fade. He didn’t even ask what type of fade I wanted. He just started doing whatever he liked. The shaping was disastrous. 

When he was almost done, his boss came into the shop. I complained bitterly about the haircut and he tried to salvage the situation but it was too late. I even had to pay twice the amount I usually paid my barber. I looked in the mirror and couldn’t accept my new look, so I went back to my barber. I told him to change my hair to lowcut. And still had to pay him too.

Marvin, 29

I was in my first year in university. There was some buzz about a new barber so I went over to his salon. When I got there, he was occupied with someone else so he asked his apprentice, a new guy, to cut my hair. I was reluctant but I didn’t have a choice. The apprentice knew nothing about haircuts and kept spinning the chair around. When he was done, everyone in the salon started laughing at me. I had to wear a fez cap to lectures for the whole week.

Victor, 16

I betrayed my barber in Ikorodu and went all the way to UNILAG where I school to cut my hair. First of all, it was crazy expensive. I thought “Alright, that’s fine. At least the haircut would be fire.” Boy, was I wrong. This happened several weeks ago and till today, my hairline is yet to return to its former position.

Read: 5 Nigerians Talk About Their Battles With Drug Addiction


Man Like – A series about men, for men, by men. Every Sunday by 12PM.

Olufemi Fadahunsi

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

November 1, 2020

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. “Man Like” is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it […]

October 28, 2020

Yesterday, we told you 7 Things You HAVE To Know Before You Peg Someone and while most people screamed in revulsion, some others were more open to the idea. I was curious so I asked six Nigerian men what they thought about pegging. Abomaye, 25, Straight Honestly, I really think it opens a whole new […]

September 18, 2020

Sony just announced the prices of their new home video game console, PlayStation 5 and the world is loving it. Starting from $500 for the PS5 and $400 for the PlayStation 5 Digital Edition, there’s a lot of anticipation for the long-awaited game console. If you’re interested in getting a PS5, but you don’t have […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

December 4, 2020

Lawal Adijat Opeyemi of the New Nigeria People’s Party (NNPP) will be contesting in the Lagos East Senatorial by-elections which is scheduled to hold this Saturday, December 5, 2020. The by-election became a necessity after the death of Senator Bayo Osinowo earlier this year, who represented Lagos East Senatorial district, following a brief illness. A […]

December 4, 2020

If your friends are bugging you to join them for outings this month, we have the perfect harmattan excuses to help you stay indoors. You’re welcome. 1. “The sun is too hot” This one isn’t even an excuse. It’s a fact. The sun these days can make somebody run mad. Just stay inside your house. […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

More from Man Dem

November 25, 2020

If you’re a Nigerian woman living abroad, chances are that you’ve run into one or more of these types of Nigerian men. 1) Mr. qualifications Before you say anything, they’ll remind you about all their degrees – MBA, PHD, WAP, MD. 2) Green card gang In your first conversation, they want to know your status […]

November 25, 2020

Traditionally, marriage is designed to be a life-long commitment between two people. Sometimes, people go against the norm and seek emotional and sexual solace with people other than their spouses. I spoke to seven married men about cheating on their wives, why they do it and what the future of their marriages look like. Ben […]

November 18, 2020

If you’re here wondering the secret to the appeal of Nigerian men, welcome: 1) Sweet mouth Nigerian men open a conversation with “you look familiar” and end with “I can’t live without you.” When Nigerian men give their sweetness attack, you defend. Or reset your defense. 2) Dress sense Ice on their neck. Ice on […]

November 13, 2020

Nigerian women aren’t the most communicative people, some times. When they catch feelings for Nigerian men, they won’t exactly in straightforward terms. They prefer playing a complex game of “Read My Mind” to tell you that they’ve caught feelings for you. Here a couple of signs that show you a woman is in love with […]

November 11, 2020

What does IJGB mean? – “I Just Got Back.” This means someone who’s living abroad and is back in Nigeria for December rocks. Now that you know the definition of IJGB, let’s begin. December is upon us and God willing, the innits will soon be upon us. We’ve prepared this guide as a safety measure […]

November 9, 2020

It’s never too early to start thinking of Christmas gifts for your man. This year, make efforts to get, you know, actual gifts for your man (not boxers and singlets). Nigerian men deserve better, therefore, we’ve made a list of all the things you can get your man for Christmas this year. 1. A PS5 […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X