6 Of The Biggest Lies Nigerians Have Told About Money

April 28, 2020

“Money slow to enter, but money quick to go” – M.I

These are the lyrics to one of the greatest songs to grace the Nigerian airways. It’s apt because everyone on some level can relate to a money struggle. Whether directly or indirectly.

According to Marty Byrde – Money at its essence is a measure of a man’s choices. So, what choices have you had to make because of a money issue?

We asked people to tell us the biggest lies they have had to tell because of money.

The undercover millionaire.

I recently got a new job that pays me 1 million Naira a month. However, I told my family members that I took a salary cut to join this company. I am trying to complete a project and I don’t want black tax to finish me. It was easy to sell this lie because the company is low-key and unpopular unlike my old one. The reason I even earn well is because the head quarters is not based in Nigeria. My mum has been sending me “something to manage” every month and I feel bad. But I can’t tell her. At least, not yet.

The playbook scammer.

I met this guy that used to shower me with expensive gifts. Then suddenly he started needing little sums because of “bank issues” and he’s expecting some money. I sha made sure I borrowed him the equivalent of the cost of gifts he had bought for me. When I got to the mark, I cut him off. It’s not me he will finish. I have seen plenty of his type in this Abuja.

Landlord posing as tenant.

The house I live in is part of my inheritance. But my friends are always complaining about paying rent and how tough it is. So, to not stand out, I pretend to have rent money issues. I don’t want them to think I have arrived or something. I was just lucky to have inherited a house early.

The hustler.

I lied to my friends about how much I earn monthly. I inflated it to two times the actual amount. My friends are rich and nice people and I don’t want to look like a charity case to them. They are already wary that people only befriend them because they have money. So, I don’t want to prove them right. They are the kind of people to casually set me up on a monthly salary to supplement my income. If I allow that, it’s only a matter of time before resentment kicks in.

I will keep pushing until one day I don’t have to lie about how much I earn.

A finesser.

I was at a job interview. They asked me how much I was earning at my last place, I told them N170,000 and I was hoping to move to N250,000 gross. That was a big lie. I was earning N70,000 but doing the work of N170,000. So, I only pegged it at the volume of work I was doing. After a series of back and forth, I ended up collecting three times my old salary.

You know what? I’d gladly do it again.

The childhood fraudster.

My grandmother used to save money with me. Money from visitors and her children. Then, she died suddenly. My dad who knew about this money came to ask for it but I told him that she collected it a few weeks before she died. I don’t know if it was because of grief, but I somehow got away with it. The sad part was that we moved houses and I forgot the money in my hiding place. Till today, it still pains me.

If you enjoyed reading this, here are happy thoughts to keep you company.

Hassan Yahaya

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